Suppandispeak!!!

To Suppandi.....again!! Please visit my earlier blogs "Tales of "Suppandi" - the lovable buffoon." and "The tales of "Suppandi" continues." to get to know him better and read about some of his 'adventures.'

Here are some 'gems' from Suppandi...........

1) Suppandi says, "My mind works like lightning......one brilliant flash and it is gone!!"

2) Suppandi said, "Take my advice; I don't use it anyway!" :D

3) Suppandi said, "When you laugh, the world laughs with you; when you snore, you sleep alone." :)

4) "My friend is writing a novel.......wonder why he can't buy one from the market!" Tap tap tap.......(Suppandi is tapping his head, wondering......)

5) "Why do bagpipers walk when they play?"........"They’re trying to get away from the noise," replied Suppandi.

6) Suppandi said, "Wrote my exam at the doorstep. Hopefully I'll get through my 'entrance' exam this time!"

7) Suppandi said, "The Doc told me that these tablets have side effects......am cutting the sides off right now!!"

8) "Why don't you lend your wisdom tooth to me for a few days? Need it badly"......said Suppandi.

9) "I have been asked to keep an eye on the boiling milk.......any suggestions on what I can do with my other eye till then??!"........asked Suppandi.

10) "Mom is shouting at me :( How to make her understand that I didn't spend all day talking on the phone, most of the time I was only listening!"..........exclaimed Suppandi sadly.

11) "What do you call two banana peals?".............."A pair of slippers," said Suppandi :)

12) Suppandi is very upset because the radio stopped playing. Then he dismantled it and found two cockroaches inside, and realized that the singers were dead!

13) Suppandi is wondering why his Mom felt that the shopkeeper could pull the wool over his eyes.......he will definitely shut his eyes when he reaches the shop!

14) Suppandi is sure that the guy was mistaken, when the guy said that he has seen his (Suppandi's) face somewhere.......Suppandi would never let his face go anywhere!

15) Suppandi's friend drowned in a bowl of muesli.............He was pulled in by a strong currant!

16) Suppandi fought with the shopkeeper for not giving the 'fat free' with the oil!

17) "Suppandi, what do you call a fish with no eyes?".........."A fsh," replied Suppandi!

18) Suppandi went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day.........but could not find any.

19) "Those of you who are going to drink 'to forget,'...........please pay in advance".....said Suppandi.

20) Suppandi's friend's wife told him she believes in, "If the shoe fits, buy it in every colour!"..........Is it because of Holi??? wondered Suppandi.

21) Suppandi was wondering: Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"??!

22) Suppandi said, "At 70, my grandfather doesn't need glasses........he drinks straight from the bottle."

23) Suppandi buried the phone in the garden because it was dead......."gotta buy a new live one," he thought to himself!!

24) Suppandi is very confused about how one can have 'smelly feet' and 'running noses'!! Strange are the ways of the world........

25) Suppandi wants to be no. 6 when he grows up........he is sure he could make people smile!

26) Suppandi is trying to find a 'National flag' with different colour combinations!!!

27) Suppandi has been standing in the Sun for the past half an hour.......trying to dry his sweat! Just doesn't seem to work :(

28) Suppandi says, "What's the big deal if I made holes in the umbrella? I just wanted to be sure about when it stopped raining!"

29) Suppandi kept going out to check the letter box to see if he had received any letters, but finally gave up when he realized that his PC was lying. It went on saying "You've got mail."

30) Someone asked, "Did you hear about the two guys who stole everything from a house except the soap and towels?"............."They must be pair of dirty crooks,".........remarked Suppandi.

31) Suppandi likes eating vada..........the bonda with a hole!

32) Suppandi realized that it is easier to make a resolution than to keep one!

33) Suppandi's New Year resolution is to be less forgetful this year, than he was last year.

34) Suppandi is hoping that no one will remember that he had shouted "Happy Birthday" by mistake when the clock struck 12 (midnight) on New Year's Eve!

35) Suppandi is washing clothes. The instructions say that the detergent has to be dissolved in half a bucket of water, so he is cutting the bucket into half!

36) Suppandi said, "My Uncle told me that the price of newspapers will be going up from tomorrow........so, I bought ten copies of today's paper. How smart, na?!!"

37) Suppandi said, "Mom didn't want any leaves strewn in the balcony, so I plucked them all out from the plants. I don't know why she was angry later." :(

38) Suppandi went shopping the whole of last night. His friends had warned him that the rates are very high and the shopkeepers commit daylight robbery.

39) Suppandi - the genius - defines the word 'Doctor': "A doctor is a person who kills your ills by his pills, and kills you by his bills." :)

40) Suppandi said, "Mom told me to get a 40 and a 60 watt bulb. She was testing my maths! But I'm smart! I added 60 and 40 and got a 100 watt bulb instead!!!

41) Suppani was wondering, "And I thought the kid was quite ambitious.......wonder why his
teacher failed him........"

42) Suppandi got an electric shock after he read the book, "5 Philosophers Who Shocked the World."

43) Suppandi was thinking, "Love these sandals.......wonder why my friend Shambu ran away the moment he saw the first one........."

44) Suppandi was asked, "What would Dharmendra say to Hema Malini if he wanted her to call him up?"........ Suppandi replied, "Ring De Basanti!!"

45) Suppandi's friend told him, "My wife has learned the art of tackling my short term memory loss post Ghajini! .........Scribbled on my chest is Wife's birthday, 22nd - get groceries......etc."

Photograph: Suppandi - an image from "Tinkle."

The tales of "Suppandi" continues.

Well, I am back with a few more tales (over a dozen) of the lovable goofball "Suppandi!" Please visit my previous blog ("Tales of "Suppandi" - the lovable buffoon.") to read about some more of his hilarious encounters with his Masters.

All thanks to "Tinkle" - a magazine which has been providing the much needed healthy humour to children and adults alike - for close to three decades now - and that is what makes "Tinkle" a real sweetheart. I used to read "Tinkle" regularly during my school days and owned quite a formidable collection of this magazine, as well as that of "Amar Chitra Katha." But sadly - due to some events like shifting of house, etc., - I have lost all of them. Now, I have decided to build up my collection of these great comic books once again - along with "Panchatantra" and "Chandamama." I have already got the entire collection of "Tintin" and "Asterix;" and most of the classic bengali comic books like, "Handa Bhonda," "Nonte Phonte" and "Bantul the Great" and have complete faith in myself - that I will soon add the entire collection of "Tinkle," "Amar Chitra Katha," "Chandamama" and "Panchatantra," to them as well. Amen.

I read somewhere, that "Uncle" Pai is coming up with an album for children titled "Storytime with Uncle Pai," very shortly. I am looking forward to it - "big kids" are also "children," you see! I also found out that "Suppandi" - one of India's most loved 'characters' and a part of our childhood - has now been modeled into 3-D, to appeal to today's generation - Gen X - that is. It is no doubt a good effort, but I believe that there is no substitute for reading the comics, per se. These comics and their "unreal" heros were a constant source of good humour and reading them was such a joy - bringing in "joie de vivre," so to speak! It was the gentle pleasures like these that kept generations of people hooked even after they grew up. One can never stop reading these comics - they are like a part of us that one cannot outgrow!

Now, here are some more tales of "Suppandi." Read and enjoy.............

1) The Slap:

One day, Suppandi was walking to a village on an errand. Suppandi was thinking to himself, "Everybody thinks I'm a fool. I wish I could prove myself to be clever." Coincidentally, a smart-looking stranger was loitering along the road and Suppandi went up to him, thinking of asking him (the stranger) if he could show Suppandi how to make himself clever.

"Oh, Sir . . ," said Suppandi, "I want to become clever. Can you tell me how I can go about it?"

So, the stranger proceeded to show Suppandi how to make himself clever. The stranger put his hand on a telephone pole and said to Suppandi, "See if you can hit my hand."

Suppandi said, "All right, here goes...... "

Just as Suppandi was about to hit the stranger's hand, the stranger pulled his hand away and Suppandi hit the telephone pole instead. The stranger went away shaking his head and snickered, "Haha, see how I fooled you!"

Suppandi was pleased at this discovery and thought to himself, "That was a good trick.......I must try it out on my Master."

Thereafter, Suppandi went to his Master's house and asked his Master to come out.

Suppandi said, "Sir, come. I want to show you something really clever."

His Master came out and asked, "What is it, Suppandi?"

Suppandi gathered some passerbys around his Master's house.

He said, "Come, everybody, I want to show you that I am as clever as any of you."

He began to look around for a telephone pole but to his dismay, he could not find any nearby. His Master and the passerbys were now becoming impatient and began looking at each other, quite puzzled.

Suppandi got a brilliant idea. He put his hand on his own cheeks instead. He then said to his Master, "All right, Sir. See if you can hit my hand, Sir."

The Master said, "All right."

Just as his Master's hand was about to hit Suppandi's hand (placed on his cheeks), Suppandi pulled his hand away and his Master's hand hit Suppandi's cheeks instead.

Everyone roared with laughter and shook their heads at Suppandi. His Master walked away, mumbling to himself, "What a fool!"

2) Master: Suppandi, make macaroni for lunch.
Suppandi: Master, the macaroni is becoming bigger and longer.
Master: It is natural, Suppandi. Solids expand on heating.

After sometime..........

Master: What are you doing now??
Suppandi: I am heating your clothes. Since solids expand on heating, I hope they will become bigger and fit you.

3) Master: Suppandi, take this inside.
Suppandi: Why have you bought so much paint, Sir?
Master: I have decided to paint the walls myself.
Master: Come and help me Suppandi.
Suppandi: Yes, Master.
Suppandi: Have you got a firm grip on the brush, Sir?
Master: Yes, why?
Suppandi: OK! Then hang on to it. I need the ladder to paint the other walls.
Master: OUGH!

4) One day Suppandi was playing football with his Master's son. He had been posted as the goalkeeper. After a while, the opposition team charged towards the goal and kicked the ball into the goal - from right beside Suppandi's legs. His Master's son was boiling with anger.

Son: Why didn't you stop the ball, Suppandi?
Suppandi: Why in the world should I stop it? What is the net in the goal for, then??

5) Suppandi was dialing a number on the phone, to speak to his friend.

Master: Suppandi, don't talk on the phone for more than three minutes.

After about ten minutes...........

Master: Suppandi, I told you not to speak on the phone for so long.
Suppandi: I didn't Master. I spoke only for three minutes, the rest of the time I was listening.

6) Mistress: Suppandi, go and hang these clothes outside.
Suppandi: Why?
Mistress: Because the heat of the sun will dry the clothes.

A little later................

Mistress: Suppandi, why are you standing in the hot sun?
Suppandi: I am trying to dry my sweat.

7) Suppandi's new Master was the owner of a departmental store.

Master: Suppandi, before giving the clothes to the customers, always open it and check for defects.

That evening...................

Customer: One film roll, please.
Master: Suppandi, what do you think you are doing? Why have you opened the film roll?
Suppandi: I was checking it for defects, Master.

8) Suppandi visited the doctor - since he was feeling unwell. The doctor gave him a few tablets and asked him to take them twice a day.

The next day, Suppandi took a pair of scissors and started to cut the sides of the tablet and then took them.

Why??

Suppandi's answer: I'm avoiding the side effects.

9) One day a foolish guy called Suppandi went to a new town, one where he had never been before. As soon as he reached the town, he came across two men who were quarreling. They were arguing about: whether the Sun comes out during the day or the night. It was daytime, and it was the Sun which one could clearly see on the sky but one of the guys kept insisting that it was indeed the Moon that he saw. On seeing Suppandi nearby, the men stopped arguing and asked Suppandi instead for his views - to decide whether it was the Sun or the Moon that they saw on the sky.

Suppandi's response was that - since he was new to this part of the country, he had no idea whether it was the Sun or the Moon - out there on the sky - because he had never seen anything like it before, as he was new to this part of the country.

10) Suppandi is late for work:

Suppandi joined a new company. He started for his workplace at 6:30 a.m. though his duty began only at 9:00 a.m. Inspite of this, he reached his place of work at 9:00 p.m. He met his new boss, who was understandably, furious.

Boss: Suppandi! Why the hell are you late? Why did you come when the office is closing?
Suppandi: I left home early, but when I was in the elevator, the power failed. I was in there all this while.
Boss: Huh! Gak!

11) Space travel:

Suppandi and his classmate, both students of a prestigious University, were talking about the American Astronauts.

Suppandi: "What's the big deal about going to the Moon? Anybody can go to the Moon. We are great, we will go directly to the Sun."

Friend: "But if we get within 13 million miles of the Sun, we'll melt."

Suppandi: "So what, we'll go at night."

12) Suppandi - the doctor:

One day, a man who was stone-deaf visited the ENT Specialist - Dr. Suppandi.

Doctor Suppandi: How do you feel, Sir?

The man did not reply.

Suppandi checked his ears and suggested an operation. After the operation.........

Doctor Suppandi: Congrats!!! You will now be able to hear like anybody else!
The Man: What? What? What did u say??

13) Suppandi gets smart:

Suppandi and an American are seated next to each other on a flight from Los Angeles to New York. The American asks Suppandi, if he would like to play a fun game. Suppandi, who was very tired, just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over towards the window to get some sleep. The American persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun.

He says, "I will ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me five dollars, and vice versa."

Again, Suppandi declines and tries to get some sleep.

The American, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500."

This catches Suppandi's attention and, figuring that there will be no end to this torment, agrees to the game.

The American asks the first question: "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"

Suppandi doesn't say a word, reaches into his wallet, pulls out a $5 bill, and hands it to the American.

"Okay," says the American, "your turn."
Suppandi asks, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"

The American is puzzled, takes out his laptop and searches the internet........no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the 'Library of Congress'......still no answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and co-workers, but to no avail. After an hour, he wakes Suppandi and hands him $500.

Suppandi thanks him and turns back to get some more sleep.

The American, who, by now is more than a little miffed, shakes Suppandi and asks, "Well, what's the answer?"

Without a word, Suppandi reaches into his purse, hands the American another $5 bill, and goes back to sleep.

Probably, it is this nostalgia that binds everyone who have experienced the charm of these indigenous comics. No wonder then, that even now, reading a favourite "Tinkle," or "Amar Chitra Katha," or "Chandamama" comic is like revisiting this lost world.

In a world filled with X-boxes, playstations and hundreds of different television channels, do traditional comic books still stand a chance in young minds? With time, comics too have developed and created several superheroes with exaggerated powers - so much so, that many-a-time one feels that the common-man hero is completely lost to oblivion. Due to the availability of various other mediums, children today have a variety of choices when it comes to comics. For instance, instead of reading these comic books, many choose to watch the same on television or play a video game using these characters. That some even choose a more vibrant, fashionable or more violently adventurous books over these (good old) comics, does indicate that these books are gradually losing their grip over the young minds. But, to say that traditional comics are slowly becoming extinct, is a bit overstated. The reason being the legions of grandparents, grand-uncles, grand-aunts, parents, uncles and aunts - who have grown up with these comics and their 'characters.' They are responsible for 'introducing' the current generation - their grandchildren, grandnephews/nieces, children, nephews/nieces - to the joys of reading these comics - and in turn growing up with the clumsy servant "Suppandi," the scheming minister "Tantri," the clever crow "Kalia," the bumbling hunter "Shikari Shambu," the dimwitted crocodile "Doob Doob," "Chamataka" the cunning fox, "Keechu-Meechu" the lovable rabbits, the inimitable "Nasruddin Hodja" ("Mullah Naseeruddin") and many more. I witness this everytime I visit book fairs like the "Kolkata Book Fair," among others. This is indeed reassuring!

Towards the end of the year 2007, ACK media announced the acquisition of the popular Indian comic book brand "Amar Chitra Katha" and "Tinkle" for $2.5 millon and is reportedly planning to invest $15-20 million in the next 3 years. Samir Patil, founder investor and CEO of ACK Media (www.ack-media.com) told Hindustan Times: "It is a 100 per cent cash deal. We are looking to invest $15-20 million over the next two to three years to make use of opportunities in licensing content and characters, intensifying retail penetration and introduce more offerings in the digital medium." It is indeed a smart move by ACK media - acquiring the IP rights of the popular "Tinkle" characters like, Suppandi, Shikari Shambu, Nasruddin Hodja, Kaalia the crow, Tantri the Matri, et al. I am sure that this $20 million investment is largely towards digitizing these comic book characters into feature film releases.

"Amar Chitra Katha" now on Vodafone: On February 26, 2009, Vodafone Essar, one of India’s leading cellular service providers in association with ACK Media, announced the launch of "Amar Chitra Katha" - a collection of illustrated classics that retell the stories of Indian Heroes - on Vodafone. Anant Pai (popularly known as "Uncle" Pai) - Editor Emeritus of "Amar Chitra Katha," Samir Patil, Founder and CEO - ACK Media and Harit Nagpal, Marketing and New Business - Director, Vodafone Essar, were present at the launch of "Amar Chitra Katha" on Vodafone. This association with "Amar Chitra Katha" will allow Vodafone customers to enjoy a host of services. These services will be available to Vodafone customers through a voice portal and through Vodafone LIVE! Through the Voice Portal, Vodafone subscribers can listen to folk stories from "The Karadi Tales," audio dramas from "Charkha" and musical tales from "Under the Banyan Tree." Vodafone customers can also listen to poetry delivered by the likes of Naseeruddin Shah, take quizzes and chuckle over jokes from "Tinkle." Vodafone LIVE! provides the customers with an opportunity to read the entire "Amar Chitra Katha" comics, listen to popular stories, and download ringtones and wallpapers of their favourite characters on their cellphones. In addition, Vodafone customers can play mobile games like "Shikari Shambhu Jungle Trouble" and "Bheema - The Asura Temple" from a selection based on various "Amar Chitra Katha" characters such as "Arjun" and "Bheema," as well as those based on popular "Tinkle" characters like "Suppandi" and "Shikari Shambhu."

A "Suppandi" inspired character in the popular telly serial "Khichdi": Jamnadas Majethia......better known as "JD" in the entertainment industry - is a popular producer and actor. He had also dabbled in modelling besides having acted in five Gujarati films in the lead role, and has also co-produced 220 episodes of the daily soap "Babul Ki Duwayien Leti Ja," for Zee TV. Phew!!! Currently, he is into "Khichdi" - as a producer and actor. He says that "Khichdi" happened when they (him and friend Aatish Kapadia) realized that the comedy field on television was virtually empty. There were lots of saas-bahu sagas, suspense thrillers, even horror shows - but there was hardly any show which was making people laugh. To quote him, "like a sensible batsman tries to time his shot in the area where there is no fielder, we too tried something different. And it went all the way." He says that the secret behind "Khichdi's" success is the way this programme was pitched. Of course, the content mattered. They believe "Khichdi" is genuinely funny......as simple as that. It's characters are either believable or completely non-believable - with all their stupidity.

"JD" says that most of the 'characters' in "Khichdi" are real - inspired by real life, that is - he claims to have come across similar characters in real life. He has actually met people like "Hansaa" and "Praful" - two of the many 'characters' from "Khichdi" - and claims to literally know of naive women like "Hansaa" and duffers like "Praful."

"JD" narrates an incident: To quote him - "I have a boy in my office. I sent him to Aatish at Khar, to get a signature on an important document. He went and by the time he came back to my office, I had left for the day. Next morning he tells me that he could not do the job. I demanded to know the reason. He explained: I reached Aatish's office. He was busy on the phone for 30-40 minutes, thereafter he came out of his cabin and left. I did not stop him because he looked very busy. I was livid and told him that his antics would soon make me shut my business down. He nodded and said, "mujhe bhi aisa hi lagta hai," (I too feel the same). Mind you, there was not even a grin on his face. He often does not understand what he says. Haven't you read the famous "Suppandi" stories in "Tinkle"? There are many "Suppandis" around you and me. "Praful" is one such "Suppandi." All we have done is repainted the characters to suit the needs of the plot," he concludes.

Photograph:

1) "Suppandi the Simple" - a tale from "Suppandi."

2) "The Adventures of Suppandi" - cover page.

3) "Boiling" - a tale from Suppandi."

Tales of "Suppandi" - the lovable buffoon.

I continue to reminisce on the 'characters' I grew up with; the ones who formed an integral part of my childhood and are still very much a part of my adult life. Please visit my earlier blogs ("The inimitable Mullah Naseeruddin."; "The Tales of Mullah Naseeruddin continues.....this time a score!" and "As you sow, so you reap." to read about one such 'character' - the inimitable Mullah Naseeruddin).

These 'characters' were introduced to me through various comic books and magazines. The big daddy of Indian comics during those days was the "Amar Chitra Katha" (http://www.amarchitrakatha.com/) — a series that still continues to thrive and gain new admirers. Anant Pai, later known as "Uncle" Pai - to children and adults alike - initiated the series in 1967. Over the years, this series gained not only in popularity, but also in credibility. Characters like Kalia the Crow, Chacha Choudhary, Shikari Shambu, Suppandi, Tantri the Mantri, etc., did mean a lot to the members of the older generations - infact they created such an impact that many of their life's lessons as kids were imparted to them through these books. Ditto for my generation. I remember that my entire knowledge on our mythology and epics was based on comics like the "Amar Chitra Katha."

Another offering from "Uncle" Pai and his team was "Tinkle," (http://www.tinkleonline.com/) which came about when they found that 65% of children dropped out of school at the primary level. According to "Uncle" Pai, through "Tinkle," they wanted to make education interesting. And Boy! did they succeed and how!!! Unlike "Amar Chitra Katha" which took some time to get established, "Tinkle" was a runaway success and its 'characters' were and still are etched in the minds of children and adults alike. "Tinkle" was launched on November 14, 1980 and has released over 500 issues till date. The release of the 500th issue of "Tinkle" was celebrated on April 18, 2004. Quite a landmark! What?

For those who are wondering about the title of this magazine - how it came to be named as "Tinkle," that is - there is a small legend associated with the "naming ceremony" of this magazine - if I may call it so. It goes like this - once "Uncle" Pai and Subba Rao (then his Associate Editor) were pondering over various possible alternatives (having a brainstorming session to decide on an appropriate name for the magazine, from a list of possible ones). I was right about the "naming ceremony" part after all, see! That was when one of the staff members interrupted and said there was a "tinkle" (meaning a telephone call) for him ("Uncle" Pai). Instantly Subba Rao suggested that they call the new magazine "Tinkle." That is how it came to be called "Tinkle." "Kalia the Crow" and "Shikari Shambu" were the first two popular 'characters' in "Tinkle."

"Uncle" Pai also credits Subba Rao - rather his vision - as the secret of the success of "Tinkle." His team developed features like "It happened to me" to enable readers to make their own contributions. This went a long way in forming a close bond between"Tinkle" and its readers.

Suppandi, Kalia the Crow, Keechu-Meechu - the rabbits, Chamataka the fox and his accomplice and friend Doob Doob the crocodile, Raghu, Mooshik, Nasruddin Hodja (Mullah Naseeruddin), Anwar, Shikari Shambu and Tantri the Mantri are some of the 'characters' from "Tinkle." These 'characters' have independent stories in the form of comic strips - which forms the essence of this magazine. "Chamataka" is a fox who usually features in strips of the "Kalia the Crow" series, and is seen working together with another accomplice, his friend "Doob Doob," a loyal but somewhat dimwitted crocodile. They are featured trying to catch their prey, usually two rabbits, "Keechu" and "Meechu," and coming up with a variety of schemes to do so. The rabbits, however, are always saved by the clever "Kalia," making him one of Chamataka and Doob Doob's chief adversaries. Kalia has nevertheless saved their lives too on some occasions.

In this blog, I will write about and "introduce" you to "Suppandi." "Suppandi" is one of India's most loved characters and is an integral part of our growing up years. A lot of us are familiar with this 'character,' but for those who do not know him, "Suppandi" is a simpleton servant boy who keeps doing some funny acts that often leads his master into trouble and hence he gets fired. His clumsiness and uncanny ability to get into trouble has made "Suppandi" a favorite comic character. He moves from one mishap to another as he changes his 'masters' by the dozen. The "Suppandi" series is a collection of his extraordinary adventures - which made him into an endearing and lovable fool. Even the way the artist Ram Waeerkar conceptualised him — elongated head, long jaw and huge nose — elicited laughs.

Here, I have compiled a few of the tales of "Suppandi" - the endearing and lovable buffoon and everyone's favorite manservant. Read on..........

1) The Other Eye: Suppandi's Master was going out on some personal work.

Master: Suppandi, keep an eye on the dog.

Suppandi: Yes master, but.......

Master: But what?

Suppandi: What do I do with the other eye?

2) No Pain! No Gain!

Suppandi: Father! I failed in my exams!

Father: That's bad! Suppandi. No pain! No gain!

A few days later, at the hospital..........

Father: Why did u go and bang your head on the car?

Suppandi: You, yourself said father, "No pain No Gain!" Hence, to feel pain I hit my head on the car!

3) Master: Go to the market and get a mirror so that I can see my face and shave.

Suppandi: Yes master!!

Suppandi goes to the market and returns home without a mirror.

Master: Why didn't you get a mirror?

Suppandi: Because in all the mirrors I could see only my face!!

4) Master: Suppandi, one of my shoes is torn, I'll get another one from the market.

Suppandi: But you still have the other shoe, Master.

Master: Don't be funny Suppandi, what good is one shoe without the other?

Then, one day........

Master: Suppandi, here take these two Rs.500 notes and go get 10 tube lights.

Suppandi: Yes master.

Master: Suppandi you are back so soon, where are the tube lights?

Suppandi: When I was going, one of the notes slipped from my hand and fell into the sewer, what good is the other note without the pair? So I threw that also into the sewer.

5) Master: Suppandi, why have you put the spoilt mangoes in the sink. Put them in the dustbin. That's where all spoiled thing's go.

Suppandi: Yes Master.

Master: After throwing them in the dustbin go and get my son from school.

After some time, there were noises and screams for help emanating from the kitchen. The Master rushed in.

Master: Suppandi, what do you think you are doing with my son by putting him into the dustbin?

Suppandi: Master, when I had gone to get him, his teacher told me that he was a spoilt brat. You, yourself told me that all spoilt things go into the dustbin.

6) Master: Suppandi, how much did you spend on the groceries today?

Suppandi: I spent Rs.99 and 50 paise.

Master: Why don't you round it off to Rs.100. Rounding off figures is very convenient.

Then, one day.........

Master: Suppandi, go and get me a train ticket to Mumbai.

Suppandi: Yes Master.

When he came back........

Master: What time does the train leave tomorrow?

Suppandi: At 4 p.m.

The next day.........

Master: Its 4 p.m., and the train to Mumbai hasn't arrived, I think it is late.

A passer by: No Sir, the train left at 3:45 p.m.

Master: Suppandi, you told me the train was leaving at 4:00 p.m?

Suppandi: The time was 3:45 p.m., but I rounded it off to 4 p.m.

7) Suppandi's Master was a small-time businessman. He had told Suppandi to always try to earn a profit.

Master: Suppandi, I am expecting a washing machine from the 'London Stores.' Go and give this Rs.50 note to the shopkeeper and get the machine.

On the way back from the store, a man met Suppandi..........

Man: How much did you buy that machine for?

Suppandi: Rs.50.

Man: I will give you Rs.90 for it.

Suppandi thought that he was making a profit, and sold the washing machine and reached home.

Master: Where is the machine?

Suppandi: I sold it off on the way back for Rs.90, a clear profit of Rs.40.

Master: You fool, that machine was worth Rs.9000. I was paying for it in installments. You are Fired!!!

8) Once a book belonging to Suppandi's Master was torn. Suppandi stitched it back with thread. His master advised him to use super glue to stitch or stick together anything - as it gives better results.

Then, One Day..........

Master: Suppandi, iron my new and expensive suit as I have to wear it for the wedding party tonight.

That evening...........

Master: Suppandi, give me my suit.

Suppandi: Here it is.

Master: What has happened to it? What do you think you did to it?

Suppandi: The suit had been stitched together with thread, so I removed all the thread and stuck it together with super glue. Doesn't it give a much better result?

Master: S-U-P-P-A-N-D-I!!!! You're fired! Get out!

9) One day, Suppandi and his Master were returning home from somewhere, in the intense heat......

Master: The sun has darkened our skins, Suppandi.

Suppandi agreed.

The next day...........

Master: Suppandi! Get me a bottle of hair dye from the neighbouring store.

After some time..........

Master: Suppandi, didn't you get the bottle of hair dye I asked for?

Suppandi: I went to the shop, but then I had a brilliant idea. Why don't you stand out in the sun? The sun will darken your hair.

10) Master: Suppandi, go and stop a taxi, I have to go to Chennai right away.

Suppandi: Yes master.

After a while..............

Suppandi: Master, I could not find a single empty taxi, all of them had atleast one man sitting in them.

11) One day, Suppandi was shouting at a couple of children, telling them not to make a noise. His Master heard him and told him that shouting was a bad habit and that one should not shout.

Then, one morning...............

Master: We have been robbed of everything, Suppandi!

Suppandi: I know, I saw the thief last night.

Master: But then, why didn't you shout for help?

Suppandi: You, yourself told me that shouting was a bad habit.

12) Master: Suppandi, go and get one tomato. Remember to get it from the place you find it to be the cheapest.

That night...............

Master: Suppandi, I had only asked you get one tomato, what took you so long?

Suppandi: I had caught a train and had gone to a village 100 miles from here which grows tomatoes. There they were the cheapest.

13) Master: Suppandi, why are you holding the receiver of the phone to your ear? Did it ring?

Suppandi: No, I am expecting an urgent call from my brother.

14) Master: Suppandi, I cannot find one of my pair of socks, where have you kept it?

Suppandi: Here it is, Master.

Master: If you don't keep things in their proper place, they are bound to get lost.

That evening, when the Master's son came home from school...........

Master: How come your Geography teacher has written a note that you are not studying properly? What did you do?

Son: My teacher asked me where Washington was located, and I didn't know where it was.

Suppandi: You would have been able to find it, had you kept it in the right place!

15) Suppandi was once interviewed for a job as a prison guard.

Inspector: Hmmmmmmm......Now, these are really tough chaps in here, do you think you can manage?

Suppandi: No problem. If they don't behave, out they go.

16) Suppandi's new Master was a gardener.

Master: Suppandi, I had asked you to weed the garden today, why haven't you done it yet?

Suppandi: I thought that I will do it tomorrow.

Master: Silly boy, never leave anything for tomorrow, when you can do it today.

The next day..........

Master: Suppandi, pluck all the ripe mangoes from the garden.

That evening.............

Master: You fool, why have you plucked the unripe ones too?

Suppandi: I thought I will pluck them all today, instead of waiting for you to tell me to do it tomorrow.

17) One day, during lunch time...........

Master: Suppandi, why have you cooked only one dish? You must always cook something extra, other than what I tell you to do, more never hurts.

The same evening................

Master: Suppandi, get me a cup of tea.

A little later...............

Master: What is this? Why have you got me 4 cups of tea?

Suppandi: You only said, a little extra never hurts.

18) Master: Suppandi, have you finished stitching the buttons on my shirt?

Suppandi: No, Master! I could not find any buttons.

Master: Now, how on earth will I wear that shirt to office?

Suppandi: Master, I have stitched up the button holes instead. Now you won't need buttons any more!

19) Master: Suppandi, how much time does it take for you to post a letter? And look, you haven't even posted the letter in the one hour you have been out.

Suppandi: I searched the whole town master. But all the post boxes were locked.

20) Suppandi: What are you doing Master?

Master: I am writing a novel.

Suppandi: Why are you doing that when you can simply buy one from the market?

"Suppandi," the goofy, village simpleton, is by far the most popular "Tinkle" character. Through the years, "Suppandi" manages to misunderstand what his masters or others around him say. He therefore, ends up doing the funniest of things in an attempt to be the nice and sincere guy that he really is!

"Tinkle" and its family - the clumsy servant "Suppandi," the scheming minister "Tantri," the clever crow "Kalia," the bumbling hunter "Shikari Shambu," the dimwitted crocodile "Doob Doob," "Chamataka" the cunning fox, "Keechu-Meechu" the lovable rabbits, the inimitable "Nasruddin Hodja" ("Mullah Naseeruddin"), have all covered a journey of over 500 issues today. May there be many more! Amen.

I went through the "Tinkle" website and discovered that they have launched the "Spread the Laughter Programme!" Let me borrow a few lines from this website.........A wise Rishi once said:

"Tell a man a Suppandi joke, and you make him laugh for a day. Make a man subscribe to Tinkle, and you make him laugh forever!"

(...........to be continued)

Photograph: A picture of "Suppandi" - the clumsy servant - as depicted in the "Tinkle."