Bhaalo Naam vs Daak Naam: What's in a name? (Part-II)

You can read the 1st part: HERE.

Amusing it might be, but the fact remains that even the most aristocratic and influential Bengali bhadro mohila (lady) and bhadrolok (gentleman) alike would have an equally embarrassing daak naam at home. All the elders in the family apart from friends and neighbours would insist on addressing them by it... throughout their lives, irrespective of the time and place and the positions they may hold. In the Bengali movie 'Mouchak' the matinee idol of Bengali cinema Uttam Kumar had 'Kanchu' (a 'contrite face' as in 'mukhta kanchu-machu kora', like a puppy which has just chewed through your Mac cable) as his dak naam while the then upcoming actor Ranjit Mullick was called 'Pocha' (stale).

Outside of Kolkata, it is exceedingly difficult to explain why your mother or your pesky 'choto bone' or 'choto bhai' (younger sister or brother), 'Borda', 'Mejda', 'Shejda', 'Chhorda' or 'Bordi', 'Mejdi', 'Shejdi', 'Chhordi' (an assortment of older brothers and sisters) and even cousin [jyatuto/ khudtuto/ mamato/ pistuto - Dada(s), Bhai(s), Didi(s) and Bone(s)/ meaning: elder or younger brothers and sisters related from one's maternal or paternal side] is calling you Bumba, Jhontu or Piklu instead of Anirban, Tonmoy or Deeptesh. Or Tuku, Jhimli or Kutu instead of Deboleena, Mrinalini or Shayantanee. I personally knew a pair of sisters with the daak naam Kutu-Tuku.

For Bongo tonoy(s) and Bongo tonoya(s)/ lolona(s) nothing can be a bigger source of embarassment (or occasionally, pride) than the daak naam their parents have bestowed on them. There are instances where babies were named 'Teko' (baldy), 'Boka' (foolish), 'Kyabla' (unsmart), 'Hyabla' (foolish, dumb), 'Kaltu', 'Keltu' ('dark complexioned' in an unflattering manner) and 'Hego' (crappy, as in someone who is forever engaged in doing the 'big job') - ostensibly to protect them from the evil eye. Even 'Hippo' - for a particularly bonny baby. Male babies born in 1986 were nicknamed 'Zico' in the euphoria of the 1986 FIFA world cup. Later, babies received names like 'Zizou' and 'Ronaldo'. Much pride. This year many Messis, Robbens and Tevezes will be born in Kolkata. Some may be called 'DaVinci', 'Rafa' or 'Saina' as well.

Continuing with football and footballers - the Bengalis have truely heeded the great poet laureate Gurudev Rabindranath Tagore's exhortion "Dur-ke korile nikot, bondhu, porke korile, bhai". [tr: I bought him closer, who was at a distance; I made him my brother, who was an alien to me.] In short: Make others your own.

So, the Nigerian Footballer and ace Striker Cheema Okeri - who dominated the Calcutta soccer scene with his lethal goal scoring ability and played for the East Bengal Football Club (patronized by the "Bangals") from 1987 to 1990 - is just 'Cheemada' ("da" as in "Dada" or elder brother in Bangla) to "Bangals" and "Ghotis" alike.

In the good old days, in the interiors (of Bengal) names like Taempa, Boncha (means 'flat' as in a 'flat nose'), Pocha (meaning stale), Panchu (a crooked face, resembling the number 5 in Bangla - 'Bangla-r paanch'), Ponchu, Bhuto (alluding to a ghost), Hulo (a tom-cat is called 'hulo bedal' or plain 'hulo' in Bengal), Pyancha (meaning 'one who looks or behaves like an owl'), Khandu and Khanda (slang for a thick nose, as in 'khanda naak' and a sound thrashing as in 'khendiye biday koro') - for boys and Khendi (feminine version of 'Khanda'), Penchi (feminine of 'Pyancha'), Taempi (feminine of 'Taempa'), Bunchi (feminine of 'Boncha'), Khanto (meaning 'stop') - for girls were the norm. And girls thought nothing about having Bhalo Naam(s) like: Annakali and Rokkhekali while boys were lovingly called Bhuthnath and Pyancharam. These names would even become the identity of their parents, especially their mothers. Khandu's mother would be referred to by all and sundry as "Khandu-r Ma" while Hulo's mother will automatically become "Hulo-r Ma". And a couple would refer to or address each other by the same names quite comfortably, e.g., "Hulo-r Ma" and "Hulo-r Baba". It probably hasn't changed much. [Note: the other names are untranslatable.]

Now, the daak naam is the new bhaalo naam. E.g., Tupur and Tapur Chatterjee, the well-known twins from Bengal who are also famous models. Btw tapur-tupur denotes the sound of trickling raindrops - as in "brishti pode tapur-tupur, naday elo baan". (Tr: the pitter-patter of raindrops brings the river into flood) [Note: To read the full lyrics and listen to the song: click on this link.]

Common names like: Indranil, Debojit, Subhashish, Debashish, Anirban and Dipankar can be found in every class, every office - practically everywhere. Almost every Debashish will have a brother named Subhashish and vice versa. Similarly all Dipankar(s) will have Subhankar(s); all Debojit(s) will have Subhojit(s); all Debojyoti(s) will have Shubhojyoti(s); every Alok would have an Ashok and every Amol will have a Kamal for a brother. This was and is the norm. Similarly for the female of the Bengali species: Sudeshna, Debjani, Debarati, Gargi, Sonali, Mousumi, Moumita, Ananya, Lopamudra and Moonmoon are found in abundance - there is a very rich harvest of these names, so to speak.

Traditionally Bengalis would take great pride in naming their offspring with obscure, complicated, long and difficult names. Pundorikakkho, Pradyumno, Bibhutibhushan, Kshiteesh Chandro, Rudraneel, Arghyakamal, Archisman, Hara Shankar, Heramba Chandro, Arko Prabha, Bodhisattva - for boys and Indrayani, Haimabati, Anuranjini, Kuasha Kona, Konkaboti, Tilottama, Bhobotarini, Bhubanmohini, Mrinalini, Durgesh Nandini, Kapala Kundala - names which sounded like characters from the mythology and epic tales... and perhaps should have been allowed to remain there. They were difficult to spell and quite impossible to pronounce for everyone else... including the bearer of these names - especially when he or she was little. Poor things, how they would struggle with an uncooperative tongue! Talk about non-cooperation movement of a different kind!

Imagine being burdened with a bhalo naam like Kshiteesh Chandro Pakrashi, Pundorikakkho Purokayashtho or Raj Lokkhi Patitundi!

Thankfully, the culture of having the choicest tongue twisters for a name is gradually fading and minimalist contemporary names with lesser syllables are in vogue now. The "aantel" (intellectual) Bangalis have finally realized that their world is much larger than Kolkata and/or West Bengal... and therefore to make a 'name' for themselves, they have to opt for modern and user friendly ones. However, these modern names invite trouble of a different kind. A boy named 'Sampan' (a small flat-bottomed Chinese skiff propelled by oars or a scull), which was meant to be 'artistic and romantic', may find that it has been conveniently changed to 'Sampanna' meaning 'affluent' - by sundry folks without so much as a by your leave. 'Arijit' (vanquisher of foes) miraculously metamorphoses into 'Harijeet' or the Punjabi sounding 'Harjeet' (must put this down to an overabundance of 'democracy'!) while 'Tibro' (meaning 'fast and furious') is compelled to go through various permutations and combinations, like: Tibr, Tibre, Tivra and eventually settle for 'Teev'. And the classic 'Kokonad' ('red lotus' in Sanskrit) is reduced to Koke, Koko and even Kokonut. All in the name of convenience! Just like 2-minute Maggi noodles.

Therefore, Satya Sundar Bose becomes Sata Bose. Sabyasachi Sen is Saby Sen, Rananjay Sarkar is Ronny Sarkar, Padmalochan Karmakar is Paddy Kar, Sushmita Sen is Sush, Suchismita is Suchi, Ipshita is Ips, Suchorita is Sucho, Vatsayan or Srivatsa is Vats, Shyam Sundar is Sam or Sammy, Lopamudra is Lops, and so on and so forth.

Very few people know that the matinee idol of Bengal - 'Mahanayak' Uttam Kumar - was born as Arun Kumar Chatterjee, while the ethereal screen goddess of Bengal - Suchitra Sen - was actually Roma Dasgupta. The legendary actress, who has for over three decades been living in Garbosque seclusion, was "Krishna". Yes, that was her daak naam. The screen legend even refused to come out of her seclusion and accept the prestigious Dada Saheb Phalke Award in August 2006 - presented by the president of India.

Samyamoy Bandopadhyay won't ring a bell with anyone unless they are told that it was the bhaalo naam of the peerless Bhanu Bandopadhyay aka Bhanu Banerjee - the grand old man of Bangla comedy. The man was unputdownable in plays conducted over the radio and brilliant in creating satirical jokes with a political tinge. Similarly, veteran actor and current 'Feluda' - Sabyasachi Chakraborty - is "Benu(da)" while the versatile actor, funny man and 'Tenida' - Chinmoy Roy - is "Chinuda". The suffix "da" (short for "Dada") means elder brother in Bengali, not the lumpen elements of aamchi Mumbai, mind you! The talented Robi Ghosh and sometime 'Jatayu' was actually Robi Ghosh Dastidar and the equally talented, popular actor-comedian and yet another 'Jatayu' - Anup Kumar - was born as Satyen Das.

But nobody would like to be named as 'Nondo Ghosh', 'Gouri Sen' and 'Khagen' in Bengal. 'Coz it is "Joto dosh Nondo Ghosh" [tr: Nondo Ghosh is the universal scapegoat]. Unexplainable, but I guess 'Nondo Ghosh' here represents the nameless, faceless and powerless 'aam aadmi' aka 'mango man' who is to be blamed whenever something goes wrong. Or who has to shell out higher taxes every year for the government (consisting of numerous 'humble servants' of the aam-aadmi) - to announce 'free' mid day meal schemes, 'free' rice distribution ceremonies and sundry other sops to fleece the same aam-aadmi.

Even our Income Tax guys don't like to tax their brawn and brains... after the 'taxing' job they do.

And it is "Lage taka debe Gouri Sen" [tr: When money is needed Gouri Sen would provide]. 'Gouri Sen' here is a rich male businessman from 18th century Bengal. Now-a-days it is the hapless 'aam-aadmi'. No prizes for guessing!

As for 'Khagen', it is: "Mere baaper naam Khagen kore debo!" [tr: Will beat you so hard that your dad would be renamed as Khagen]. I have no clue about the story behind this idiom, hence fail to understand the significance of the name 'Khagen' here. However the only positive is that son's of real Khagens don't have to worry too much. I knew of a Khagen and his son had no worries of any physical harm whatsoever.

Bengali names are extremely gender sensitive - male and female names are different, irrespective of their meaning and are generally differentiated while spelling and pronouncing them. For the uninitiated, Sudipto (M) and Sudipta (F) have a world of difference, ditto Aparajito (M) and Aparajita (F). Some names might be treated as feminine in other parts of the country, but Bengalis follow strict traditional naming patterns/customs. Thus, 'Suman' (meaning 'flower' and usually a girl's name in the North of the Vindhyas) is a masculine name among Bengalis (Sumon) with Sumana/Sumona being its feminine form! A Bengali girl will never be called 'Kamal' (meaning 'lotus') but 'Kamala' (meaning 'orange hued') with an additional 'a' in the end. I don't blame Indians from other states... who fail to capture the subtle difference in the pronunciation of Rajarshi (M) and Rajyashri (F) and equate it with Rajarshree or Rajshree (F) instead. It is unfair but unavoidable.

So, next time someone says - what's in a name? A lot actually, if you are a Bengali!

Talking of Bengalis and unusual names, I came across this bit. Let me share it here. Someone's father was named "Gandhi Sircar" by his grandfather (not sure whether it was his maternal grandpa aka 'Dadu' or the paternal one i.e., 'Thakurda') in the frenzy of nationalism - post our independence in order to honour the Father of the nation, of course. So this gentleman - "Gandhi Sircar" - grew up to be a "man with no name" (much like his silver screen idol Clint Eastwood in his westerns) and had 2 "surnames" (podobis) instead!! This led to rather amusing situations including 2 hotel rooms being booked for him - one for Mr. Gandhi and the other for Mr. Sircar! Howzzat!

(Concluded)

Photograph: The renowned Bengali poet, novelist and short story writer Premendra Mitra's creation - the inimitable 'Ghanada' [also 'Ghonada']. Picture courtesy: facebook.

The sauce always justifies the means!

King Ferdinand I (1751 - 1825) is said to have disguised himself as a commoner and, in clandestine fashion, visited a poor neighbourhood in Naples. One story has it that he wanted to sink his teeth into a food that the queen had banned from the royal court - pizza! Poor Freddy. So much legwork for a mere pizza! We live life King-size and have home delivery instead.

If you think that the Pizza (yet another Italian import) only arouses hunger pangs in your tummy... think again. Pizza has taken the erudite route and become enlightened... without meditating under the Bodhi tree. Tatkal service... what?

Branded pizza such as Domino's and Pizza Hut 'discovered' India in early to mid 1990s, and underwent a process of self-discovery almost immediately thereafter. Result: several Indian-style toppings like Tandoori Chicken and Paneer. Italy met India with exotic pizza toppings... which once again proved beyond a shred of doubt that the whole world is one single family - 'Vasudhaiva Kutumbakam' (from "vasudha", the earth; "eva" = emphasizer and "kutumbakam", "family" - a Sanskrit phrase.) We even have "The Slumdog" - a specialty pizza available at Bombay Pizza Co. on Main Street near Walker Street. Socialism aka Communism met Capitalism aka Free Market over a bottle of Johny Walker... I guess!

And a "Gateway to India" pizza too... filled with Tandoori chicken, crabmeat, artichoke hearts (not to choke the arteries of your heart, really!), cilantro chutney, mozzarella and provolone, and topped with fresh cilantro, all on naan bread. (But ingredients originating from the Arab world, Mongolia, Afghanistan, Persia, Portugal, France, Holland and England are conspicuous by their absence. Wonder why though *wink*.) While the Slumdog is laden with pepperoni, Spanish chorizo, Canadian bacon, beef, chicken, onions and Bombay pizza sauce. Is your mouth watering yet? I am hungry already!!

In December 2007, Domino's introduced a new slogan, "You Got 30 Minutes", alluding to the earlier pledge but stopping short of promising delivery in a half hour. Clever! No? Not unlike our UPA-nishad.

In a 2009 survey of consumer taste preferences among national chains by Brand Keys, Domino's was last - tied with Chuck E. Cheese's. In December that year, Domino's announced plans to entirely reinvent its pizza. It began a self-flogging ad campaign in which consumers were filmed criticizing the pizza's quality and chefs were shown developing the new product. The new pizza was introduced that same month, and the following year, Domino's 50th anniversary, the company acquired J. Patrick Doyle as its new CEO and experienced a historic 14.3% quarterly gain. While admitted not to endure, the success was described by Doyle as one of the largest quarterly same-store sales jumps ever recorded by a major fast-food chain.

Now, apart from answering the SOS calls of hapless dabbawallahs whose dabbas (lunch boxes) decide to take a swim without their knowledge and/or permission, Domino's fairly recent delivery - their mea culpa ad campaign was tough to beat for its sheer corporate candor. In its new TV commercial and Web video, the pizza chain admits something startling - namely, that its pizza is pretty terrible. Domino's very public admission of its own awfulness might represent the most elaborate mea culpa ad in history. But it's hardly the first. Companies sometimes admit their flaws and faults in a bid for public empathy. The strategy usually has two parts. Part one: Fess up. Part two: Vow to do better. While Domino's never quite expresses remorse, the crusty comments in its commercial do set up the company's promise to improve, with better ingredients and a new pizza recipe.

Airlines such as United and JetBlue have prostrated themselves in public to mollify travelers enraged by scheduling snafus. (In demo-crazy India of course the airlines will have none of it. They go on strike instead.) Fast-food outfits have done it, too. American car manufacturers have practically made an art of acknowledging their shortcomings; General Motors went on an apology tour starting in late 2008 when it began lobbying for billions of dollars in federal bailout funds. Last summer, as it went through Chapter 11 bankruptcy proceedings, it flooded the airwaves with a commercial that acknowledged, "General Motors needs to start over in order to get stronger."

As Domino's was rolling out its self-lacerating confession, the Chicago Bears took out newspaper ads to apologize to the team's fans for its sub par performance. "In a season where we did not perform at our best, we are further humbled by the fact that our fans stepped up and did their part," the ads said. (For the record, the Bears finished with a 7-9 record, considerably better than the 4-12 Redskins, who have yet to publish any apologies.)

Acknowledging that you've messed up may win some goodwill among consumers, but marketing experts say it also carries some risks. Some people are going to hear only part of the message (e.g., Domino's stinks) and not hear the part about how they're going to get better. Thus, apology ads can reinforce negative perceptions and raise awareness of them among people who've never tried, or even heard of, the product. But you can safely leave out Bollywood, Hollywood, the various 'Woods' and the Netalog... for them any publicity is good publicity. No?

Once you've said, 'Our pizza tastes like cardboard,' you've got people's attention. Most people will ignore you if you just said, 'We're new and improved.' Every advertiser and his aunt say that. This gets people (including couch potatoes) to sit up and take notice.

Domino's also took the 'proverbial' route... and created 'Pizza Proverbs' - an online contest in the US. Of the over 7,000 customer proverbs submitted, Domino's proudly presented the 8 (of surpassing wisdom) chosen to be immortalized on their new pizza boxes.

For the folks slogging it out errr... ideating in the world of advertising, the joy of going beyond the brief and creating something that is fun, relevant and positively impacts a brand is an unmatched high. Sometimes, it involves thinking out of the box, literally. And... the sauce always justifies the means!

The winning pizza proverb:

Pizzas rush in where burgers fear to tread.

The others (which may include the Prince Charles among pizza proverbs):

1. Give a man a pizza and he'll eat for a day. Teach him to order online and he'll eat for a lifetime.
2. He who eats the last slice, pays the price... Of the next pizza.
3. An ye harm none, order what ye will.
4. He who pays for the pizza calls the toppings.
5. I hear pizza and I forget, I see pizza and I remember. I taste pizza and I understand.
6. Do not ask for whom the bell pepper tolls. It tolls for thee.
7. Pizzas are like money. Easier made than kept.
8. A watched door never brings the pizza boy sooner.
9. As soon as one gets out the box, another comes in the door.
10. Satisfying Fulfillment!
11. Good thing come to those who wait... for Domino's pizza.
12. A pizza saved is a pizza yearned.
13. Never judge a pizza by the box.
14. A garlic seasoned crust keeps the vampires away.
15. Moderation in all things... except pizza.
16. A Domino's pizza in the hand is better than two in the box.
17. Two pizzas are always better than one.
18. If you can't stand the pizza get out of the dining room.
19. A pizza's worth a thousand toppings.
20. Wow, This is Cheesy!!!

Perhaps they'll come up with a proverb to mark the much fawned over Royal wedding too! Here is mine: Domino's Katering Will successfully loosen the stiff upper lip. Watch out for the Domino's effect.

Photograph: Pics courtesy: Link.

Chavanni, Atthanni aur Rupaiya... Raja, Kalmadi aur Radia! (Part-1)

First we had the 'sovereigns'. A time when... gold coins reigned. And rained. Then their reign ended. Since "all that glitters is not gold". Thereafter... the elderly and senile poly-tricks brigade took over... 'Coz "old is gold".

We called these gold coins 'mohars'... and they were abundant... courtesy 'the Company'. But now it is difficult to even spot the 'gulmohar' trees... what to say of the 'mohars'. The philosophy of 'company ka maal, dariya mein daal'... resulted in the 'Boston tea party'... without wine, cheese, caviar and Page 3. This in turn resulted in the American Revolution... and the awakening of Uncle Sham. And the world has not been the same again. See... chai and paani makes for some dangerous concoction! Take your (non Darjeeling/Assam) tea and shove it.

After the 'Mohar'... came the humble 'Anna'. Not Anna Kournikova silly! Just plain Jane... 'Anna'. However... this 'Anna' was immortalized by Kishore Kumar in the song 'paanch rupaiya baara anna... marega bhaiya na na na na'.

One Anna was equal to 1/16th of a Rupee. It was subdivided into 4 Paisa or 12 Pies. Thus there were 64 Paisa in a Rupee and 192 Pies. Shortly thereafter... we all ate humble pie... courtesy 'Hindi Chini Bhai Bhai'.

Sometimes, 50-Paisa is colloquially referred to as aath (8) anna... that is 'Atthanni' in Hindi. Since cost of living generally likes to live life King-size (or is it Emperor size?) and be a permanent high-flier... paeans were sung to the not quite humble 'atthanni' viz. 'aamdani atthanni, kharcha Rupaiya'... even inspiring a Bollywood movie by that name.

Last heard... the government of India has taken a decision (!!!) to withdraw '25-paisa' coins from circulation from June 30 2011. From this day the 25-paisa coins will cease to be legal tender in the country... and will be consigned to history. The days of 'chavanni' and 'char anna' are numbered... so to speak. Even beggars can and will be choosers... and thumb their noses at the theory of 'beggars can't be choosers'. Boo!

But this act of our very 'charitable' government will give a promotion to 'chavanni chaps' throughout the country... thus ensuring a substantial vote bank.

But don't underestimate the 'char anna'. After all... a pair of hands belonging to someone who was not even a 'char anna' or a primary member of the King Cong... is the hand that rocks the cradle... and rules this anna-less nation.

The Finance Ministry said in a statement that, "The minimum denomination coin acceptable for transaction will be 50-paise from that date."

... But 50-Paisa isn't enough to buy dates!

... Plus the 'atthanni' has not taken too kindly to this demotion... and is planning to go on a hunger strike... demanding a separate nation. But may make a climb down and settle for... demanding a separate state instead.

From June 30, 2011, together with 25-paise coins, all other coins of lesser denomination: one paisa, two paise, three paise, five paise, ten paise and twenty paise also 'will not be accepted in transactions', it said. Most of these coins vanished a long while ago as the government found the cost of minting them many times more than their face value. You see... these above-mentioned paise did not have a Face Book account... since FB was yet to take its virtual birth. They may decide to sue Lark Zuckerberg for causing loss of face value.

The colloquial saying... 'Char anna murgi, barah anna masala' too have to be modified... in keeping with the times. It literally means: Chicken for 4 annas, spices for 12! Actually means: In adversity, everything takes a bad turn.

It would be modified to: 'Aath anna murgi, ek rupaiya masala'... while adversity will remain... constant. Except for the humble servants.

Meanwhile... the 'Paisa' was characterised by: "Paisa, Paisa, Paisa, Paisa... Tu Bhagwan hai kaisa?" And "Paisa phenk tamasha dekh."

India introduced her first decimal coins in 1957. The coins were initially called 'Naye Paise', or new Paise, to distinguish them from the previous coins. In order to aid the visually challenged people, each coin was distinctly different. Wonder why though. Kyunki 'yeh paisa bolta hai'.

A rhinoceros is featured on the 1994 - 25-paise. This is very symbolic. 'Coz both are nearly extinct.

The 1999 - 50-Paisa features the Parliament building and a map of India. The mere presence of the former... is a sure shot health insurance against the periodic 'withdrawl from circulation' virus. Therefore the 50-paisa aka atthanni cannot be retired. Movie halls from across the country... can breathe a collective sigh of relief. Meanwhile... the stock of chlormint will continue to travel northward... guaranteeing fresh breath and a permanently lit batti in the dimaag.

Once the 'Rupee' aka 'Rupaiya' appeared... it inspired the 1955 and 1976 Bollywood films titled: 'Sabse Bada Rupaiya'... and the song by the same name (sung by the late Mehmood). The song had the following brilliant lines... which captured the essence and the importance of the 'Rupaiya' in society and in one's life:

"Na Biwi Na Bacha Na Baap Bada Na Maiyan

The Whole Thing Is That Ke Bhaiya Sabse Bada Rupaiya"

Need we say more...??

OK! Lets hear some Patti Rap then:

palmolive mitti tel gehu ko
(palmolive oil, karosene oil, wheat)

poore nahi poore nahi
(it is not enough)

paise kabhi poore nahi
(money is never sufficient)

ek aana do aana gullak ko tod ke
(one aana [6 paisa], two aana, breaking the piggybank)

char aana aath aana karza varza jod ke
(four aana, eight aana, considering the debts)

ek aana do aana gullak ko tod ke
(one aana [6 paisa: old unit], two aana, breaking the piggy bank)

char aana aath aana karza varza jod ke
(four aana, eight aana, considering the debts, etc.)

handa vanda girwi mein daal ke
(having pawned all the household utensils)

paanch das bheekh le ke paise nahi poore padte
(having got five or ten paise in alms, money does not suffice)

tum ho gyani tum ho gyani
(you are the wise one)

he mirjapur ke tum ho gyani
(hey, you are the wise man of mirzapur)

choona bhatti jhopad patti ragdam patti patti rap
choona bhatti jhopad patti ragdam patti patti rap
tharra bhatti jhagda kothi joota patti tulla patti
tharra bhatti jhagda kothi joota patti tulla patti

(More later...)

Note: Mehmood's yesteryear classic 'Sabse Bada Rupaiya' (1976) returned with the 2005 Bollywood movie 'Bluffmaster!'... starring Abhishek Bachchan and Priyanka Chopra. A Ramesh Sippy production, the flick has been directed by Rohan Sippy. Keeping Mehmood's original voice intact, this one was remixed by the UK band... Trickbaby. Chetna and Saira Hussain give their additional vocals to this three decades old track. Music: Vishal-Shekhar. The lyrics can be read here. To read the lyrics with English translation click here.

The foot-tapping beats (of the remixed version) make the number quite pleasurable... further helping you to dance to the tunes... as the song progresses. (Link)

The lyrics of the song 'paanch rupaiya baara aana marega bhaiya na na na na'... from the 1958 movie 'Chalti Ka Naam Gaadi' can be found here.

The Patti Rap lyrics are from the 1995 movie 'Humse Hai Muqabla'... starring actor-dancer Prabhu Deva, Nagma, Vadivelu and Girish Karnad. Written and directed by S. Shankar. Complete lyrics: here. Alternatively click here. Incidentally... this was the dubbed version of the 1994 Tamil movie 'Kadhalan'... which was a huge commercial success. This was the first Tamil movie to be dubbed in Hindi. The Telugu version was called 'Premikudu'. 'Kadhalan' means 'Lover' in English.

A. R. Rahman composed the background music score and the soundtrack. The soundtrack, released as Kadhalan: The Original Motion Picture Soundtrack, features 9 songs composed by Rahman, with lyrics scored by Vaali and Vairamuthu. This soundtrack cemented the popularity of A. R. Rahman and earned him national acclaim. New styles were experimented with, as in the song "Pettai Rap", a Madras bashai song that was written in a rap-like style, interspersing Tamil with English words.

The synthesizer and the keyboard feature while drawing from Tamil folk music. Songs like "Urvasi Urvasi" and "Muqabala Muqabala" became huge hits and were played everywhere in South India. Even in the rest of the country... these songs gained popularity because of the dubbing of the movie into Hindi.

On Coins and Mohars: Do read:

1. Gold Coins of India (link)

2. Earliest known coins from India (link)

3. Coins of India, Pakistan, Nepal and Bhutan from ancient times to the present (link)

Photographs: Courtesy link.

1. India's first decimal coins includes odd shapes: This six coin set includes the round 1 Naye Paisa, scalloped edge 2 Naye Paisa, the square 5 Naye Paise, the scalloped edge 10 Naye Paisa, the round 25 Naye Paise, all dated 1957, and the round 50 Naye Paise dated 1960, its first year of issue. The coins have the denomination on one side and the Lion Capital of Emperor Ashok from the Ashoka Pillar at Sarnath. The Ashoka Pillar was erected around 250 B.C. and now serves as the national emblem of India. All 6 coins are uncirculated.

2. Modern Indian coin sets includes odd shapes: This set of ten recent coins of India includes 6 odd-shaped coins. Included is the 11-sided 2002 - 2 Rupee features a map of India. The 2001 - 1 Rupee is struck in stainless steel. The 1999 - 50-Paisa features the Parliament building and a map of India. A rhinoceros is featured on the 1994 - 25-paise. The aluminum 1988 - 20-Paisa coin is a seven-sided coin. The 1988 - 10-paisa is also struck in stainless steel. The square 5-Paisa is dated 1993. The 1971 - 3-Paisa coin is a six sided coin. The 1976 - 2-Paisa has scallopped edges. The 1972 - 1-Paisa is square. Because of their low purchasing power and the high cost of production, the lower four denominations are no longer issued and are increasingly difficult to get. The reverse of the coins features three lions from the ancient Lion Capital of Ashoka, a sandstone pillar from the third century B.C. It is an interesting set that includes a variety of unusual shapes.

Language Capers... ! (Part-III)

Author's Note: Read the 1st part here and the 2nd part here.

Though historical references to the city predate 900 AD, a modern written history of continuous settlement exists only from 1537, when Kempe Gowda I (c 1513-1569, c 1510-1570 AD) a vassal of the imperial Vijayanagara Empire built a mud-brick fort at the site and established it as a province of the empire. He is therefore credited with having founded the city of Bangalore in 1537. Kempe Gowda also referred to the new town as his "gandu bhoomi" or "Land of Heroes". His grandson... Kempe Gowda II (ruled from 1585 to 1633 AD) built the four towers that marked the outer most boundaries of Bangalore in 1597 AD. Today the city has grown by leaps and bounds and left the towers behind! They now stand prominently in the heart of the city. He built more than 100 lakes (or rather tanks) and many markets in and around Bangalore. He also built many monuments in and around Bangalore, including the Bull Temple... one of the oldest temples in the city. The temple is dedicated to Nandi, the sacred bull. One of the towers - in Lalbagh - has been rebuilt to look like a temple. The Lalbagh was started by Hyder Ali in 1760 and later completed by Tipu Sultan. This 240 acre landscaped park is home to some very rare species of plants. The 'Glass House' inspired by the 'Crystal Palace' in London, is the venue of an annual Flower show.

The story goes that when Kempe Gowda I was building his new fort (in Bangalore), its southern gate would collapse every night. Astrologers advised him to conduct a human sacrifice (that of a pregnant woman) but Kempe Gowda was reluctant to do so. He refused the offer of his daughter-in-law, who was then in the family way, to sacrifice herself. And then one morning, as the workers went to work on the gate once again, they found it had not collapsed. But nearby they found the body of Lakshmamma, Kempe Gowda's pregnant daughter-in-law, with her head severed. She had killed herself to appease the Gods. A distraught Kempe Gowda is said to have built a temple in Lakshmamma's name... and installed in it the idol of his heroic daughter-in-law. The temple is less than half a kilometre from this memorial in 6th Block, Koramangala.

This poignant story of sacrifice is almost certainly apocryphal. If only some of the Horticulture Department's plans for Lalbagh would also remain so. The Department wants to have a musical fountain and laser show close to the very rock where Kempe Gowda II, grandson of Bangalore's founder Kempe Gowda I, built one of his iconic towers. This is also near the place where archaeologists discovered an Iron Age burial site, 1800 to 3000 years old. The Tower in Lalbagh at the end of Double Road - is on top of a hillock. This is the most visited among all the towers. From here you can actually see the Bangalore Skyline. The tower is on a rock which is very ancient and believed to be 3,000 million years old according to the Geological Survey of India.

The rest of Lalbagh also has a distinguished history. Ever since Hyder Ali set up a formal garden here some 250 years ago, people have always added to its wealth of trees, be it Tipu Sultan or later, the botanists who administered it for the East India Company, the Mysore Maharajas, and after Independence, the new Mysore state government. And it isn't just Lalbagh's halo of history and tradition that should give the Department pause. Have they thought of how laser shows will affect the garden's vibrant birdlife? As it is... even the humble sparrow has turned elusive... in Bangalore these days. Thanks to the vanishing green cover (in the name of metro rail, martyr's memorial, etc) and the closure of lakes to make way for malls, apartments, et al. As several people have suggested, if the government wants musical fountains and laser shows, there are other sites in Bangalore where it might be appropriate. Leave Lalbagh be.

It was during the British rule that the name of the city became anglicised to Bangalore. (See a Citizen Matters article on Bangalore Cantonment). During the British Raj, it became a centre of colonial rule in South India. The establishment of the Bangalore Cantonment brought in large numbers of migrants from other parts of the country.

Today as a large city and growing metropolis, Bangalore is home to many reputed colleges and research institutions. Numerous public sector heavy industries, software companies, biotech firms, high-end hospitals, aerospace, telecommunications, and defence organisations are located in the city. Bangalore is known as the "Silicon Valley of India" because of its position as the nation's leading IT exporter. A demographically diverse city, Bangalore is a major economic and cultural hub and one of the fastest growing major metropolis in India. In the good ol' days (sigh!)... prior to the "developments" of the last 1.5 - 2 decades, Bangalore was a well-laid-out city with many spacious gardens and parks. This earned it the monikers... the "Garden City" and "Pensioners' Paradise". Located on the Deccan Plateau in the south-eastern part of Karnataka, Bangalore is India's third most populous city and fifth-most populous urban agglomeration. As of 2009, Bangalore was inducted in the list of Global cities and ranked as a "Beta World City" alongside Geneva, Copenhagen, Boston, Cairo, Riyadh, Berlin, to name a few, in the studies performed by the Globalization and World Cities Study Group and Network in 2008.

The proposal of name change first came up in December 2005, during a meeting of litterateurs at the state's golden jubilee - the Suvarna Karnataka celebrations. Jnanapith award winner U.R. Ananthamurthy mooted that "Bangalore" be renamed "Bengaluru" to mark the occasion. The then Chief Minister N. Dharam Singh welcomed the idea and announced (on 11th December 2005) that it would be done.

On 27 September 2006, the Bruhat Bengaluru Mahanagara Palike (BBMP) passed a resolution to implement the proposed name change. On November 1st, 2006 the then CM, H.D. Kumaraswamy announced that it was official (1st November being "Kannada Rajyotsava" every year... or the "Karnataka Formation Day". Literally: "Birth of the Kannada State").

Brief History About Kannada Rajyotsava: India became a Republic in the year 1950 and in the same year linguistic provinces were formed. The state of Mysore is one such state in south India.

The state of Mysore was created taking into fold various parts of the region, which were ruled by kings. Several districts in, now called North Karnataka and Hyderabad Karnataka were dissolved in the new state. The new state was named after Mysore, which by itself was a princely state. The people (?) of North Karnataka and Hyderabad areas did not accept the name "Mysore"... and demanded a change of name. (Whether that was 'public' opinion or 'publicised' opinion... your guess is as good as mine!) After a prolonged debate the name of the state was changed to "Karnataka" on November 1, 1973.

Late Devaraj Urs... the then Chief Minister of the state took this landmark decision. Officially the new state was born on Nov. 1 and on this day every year "Kannada Rajyotsava" is celebrated... accompanied by songs - via loudspeakers - whose inspiring lyrics go like this, "Singapore hogi alli shopping madonna..." This is also known as "Karnataka Rajyotsava". "Rajyotsava" means "State festival." Some places and state government establishments have a ceremonial state flag hoisting... while most B2B establishments remain closed. If they don't, the "Mannina Magas/Magalus" (read: the sons of the soil of Karnataka) make their presence felt... all in the name of "protecting" Karnataka and Kannada.

As with any other change, the city's name change has been opposed by many. A few are worried about the city's brand value diminishing, while some say it goes with local culture. Unlike the debates over the name change of most other cities in India (Bombay to Mumbai, Calcutta to Kolkata, Madras to Chennai, Trivandrum to Thiruvanantapuram) and elsewhere in the world (Peking to Beijing, Edo to Tokyo, Constantinople to Istanbul, etc.), the "debate" over the name change of Bangalore is happening at the local, national and global levels.

"Bangalore" had become India's most famous brand. Being "Bangalored" is now part of the global lexicon and comes from the IT and BPO business boom. The question now is how quickly will the world adapt to being "Bengalurued". Wonder what being "Bengalurued" would be like. Any ideas?? Also by not coming to Bangalore (Bengaluru?) while worrying about jobs in Buffalo being "Bangalored", namma Barackanna won't know that the jobs are actually being "Bengalurued", thanks to U.R. Anantha Murthy.

Being a city with a high immigrant population, some media polls show that the majority of the people are not in favour of the name "Bengaluru"/"Bengalooru". One hopes that brand Bangalore will remain intact and that better sense will prevail. This pensioners' paradise of a decade ago (rather a decade and a half) is turning rapidly into its veritable opposite, a baby boom city. Bangalore's demography has changed, it's become young. So a baby boom is inevitable. The influx of youngsters from across the country into Bangalore's IT and BPO businesses is producing what youngsters most typically produce - babies.

From a sleepy township to a bustling metro. From a pensioners' paradise to a happening city. Bangalore has grown by leaps and bounds in the last one-and-a-half decades. The city has catapulted itself on to the world map. However... the city's managers have failed to provide matching infrastructure. They basked in the glory that the software industry brought. They reaped dividends from huge investments and earned big revenue. But they failed to provide adequate power and water supply, good roads, better connectivity, transport planning and traffic management and a corruption-free system. Result: Haphazard growth. Frequent power breakdowns. Inadequate drinking water supply. Garbage dumped everywhere. Chock-a-block vehicular traffic. (Incidentally in 1906, Bangalore became the first city in Asia to have electricity, supplied by the hydroelectric plant situated in Shivanasamudra.) Going forward... the majority of inhabited accommodation will be at or above the tree canopy level... thus paving the way for 'development in the sky'. Big promises are made now and then. But many remain on paper. The will to get going is sadly missing. And I thought... where there is a will... there is a highway! But looks like... where there is a lack of will... there is a metro rail! As Bangalore takes two steps forward, it's forced to take a step backward... or maybe vice versa. Methinks... "BUNGLEuru" is a more apt name and reflects the state of affairs succinctly! What?? Bangalore's infrastructure needs to be improved... and that cannot be achieved by changing its name to "Bengaluru"/"Bengalooru". I'm even willing to discount the "corruption-free system" bit!

(More later...)

Note: The views expressed here are entirely in good humour and without malice.

Photograph:

Pic courtesy: Link.

Language Capers... ! (Part-II)

Author's Note: Read the 1st part here.

The origin of a city's name and its antiquity is of special interest to historians. Infact the name of any city and the changes in it or even its colloquialization have always fascinated people, and "Bangalore" indeed has caught the interest of many. Folklores, guesses, historical evidences, and inscriptions are quoted to prove different theories of the origin of the name "Bangalore".

The joke goes like this... that namma "Bangalore" derives it name from the over 4 lakh Bengalis who reside here. If you delete the last 3 alphabets from "Bangalore" or from "Bengaluru" you are left with "Bangal" or "Bengal". Right?! Even though "Bengaluru"... the new name for Bangalore City is yet to be confirmed by the central government.

What's in a name (?)... you may ask. Plenty of politics... looks like.

Anytime soon, "Bangalore" is expected to be officially christened "Bengaluru'. But the issue is now stuck with the Union Home Ministry. And the famed and formidable web of "red tape" woven by the even more formidable Babus.

The name "Bengaluru", though, appears to be catching up fast, with several major corporate houses and television channels adopting the new name. The official nod for the change in name has, however, not been given yet. Also, the confusion over how to spell the new name ("Bengalooru" or "Bengaluru") still prevails. Had the great bard William Shakespeare lived in these times... he would have never written the following lines for his play (Romeo and Juliet [II, ii, 1-2]):

"What's in a name? That which we call a rose

By any other name would smell as sweet."

The Centre reportedly has no objection to permitting the change of 12 of the 13 names sent across by the Karnataka government: Bangalore as Bengaluru; Mangalore as Mangaluru; Bellary as Ballari; Bijapur as Vijayapura; Chikmagalur as Chikkamagaluru; Gulbarga as Kalburagi; Mysore as Mysuru; Hospet as Hosapete; Shimoga as Shivamogga; Hubli as Hubbali; Tumkur as Tumakuru and Kaup as Kapu.

Although a small town along the west coast, the name change of "Kaup" as "Kapu" was sought much earlier and has been pending with the Centre for years. But nobody seems to have spared a thought for the delectable 'Mysore Pak'. 'Mysuru Pak' just does not sound delectable enough. What...??

The objection only pertains to Belgaum as Belagavi, but Karnataka has categorically told the Centre that it would like to affect all the 13 changes at one go. If the State gives in to the objections (unofficial) raised by the Home Ministry, it could be read as neglect of Belgaum, and that would be construed as politically insensitive. It could also be seen as neglecting Belgaum's interest. Kannada protagonists (including the activists of the "Kannada Rakshana Vedike" aka KRV and the "Akhila Karnataka Gadi Horata Samiti"... an umbrella organization of about 200 pro-Kannada organizations... whose sole aim is the "protection of the state's borders") have said the name change should first start with Belgaum since Belagavi is closer to Kannada than Belgaum. As former Union Home Minister Shivraj Patil hailed from Maharashtra, he was under pressure from his home turf for rejecting this proposal. The current incumbent - PC - is busy rebooting. The "Master Plaster" and his family too have invited themselves to this "naming ceremony". Add to this the 'Kar-nataka' brand of jataka tales with the cheap minister busy prostrating himself in front of assorted Gods and Goddesses - mortal and celestial. So the name change is now entangled in political twirl.

From Boiled Beans to Bangalore to Bengaluru: Among the metropolises in India, Bangalore is next to Delhi in antiquity.

An interesting peek into history reveals the evolution of the name "Bangalore". An apocryphal yet popular anecdote recounts that the 11th-century Hoysala king Veera Ballala II (1173 - 1220 CE), while on a hunting expedition, lost his way in the forest. Tired and hungry, he came across a poor old woman who offered him shelter for the night and served him some boiled beans and water, as was the custom in rural areas. The grateful king named the place "benda-kaala-ooru" or "Benda Kalooru" (literally, "town of boiled beans"), which eventually evolved into "Bengalūru".

Another story tells us how "Venkataru" (because of the many Venkataramana Swamy temples built by Kempe Gowda) became "Benkaturu" and finally "Bengaluru". Yet another tale talks of "Benacha kalluru" ("Benachu" is quartz stone found in plenty in this area) becoming "Bengaluru". Another theory traces the name to "Benge/Benga trees" or "Ven-kai" (also known as the Indian Kino Tree... Pterocarpus marsupium) found in "Bengeuru", which became "Bengaluru".

"Bangalore" also had other names such as "Devarayapattana" (16th Century) and "Kalyanapura"/"Mangalapura". However, the word "Bengaluru" first appeared in an inscription of 890 A.D. found in Begur, about 10 miles south of Bangalore. Historians believe that Bengaluru mentioned in the inscription may be different from the Bengaluru near Kodigehalli near Hebbal. It may be noted here that Bengaluru near Kodigehalli was the parental house of Kempe Gowda's mother as well as of his wife. This must have prompted him to name his city as Bengaluru.

The Gangas ruled Gangavadi from Kolar starting c. 350 and later shifted their capital to Talakadu. Their rule often extended over large parts of Tamil Nadu. The earliest reference to the name Bengaluru was found in a ninth century Western Ganga Dynasty stone inscription on a "vīra gallu" (literally, "hero stone", a rock edict extolling the virtues of a warrior). In this inscription found in Begur, Bengaluru is referred to as a place in which a battle was fought in 890 AD. It states that the place was part of the Ganga kingdom until 1004 and was known as "Bengaval-uru", the "City of Guards" in Halegannada (old Kannada). Apparently, around 5th Century, the Ganga rulers constructed a hamlet near Kengeri for their security guards - known as "Bengavalu" in Kannada. Their dwelling place was popularly known as "Bengavaluru", which later on seems to have changed to "Bengaluru".

An inscription, dating back to 890 CE, shows Bangalore is over 1,000 years old. But it stands neglected at the Parvathi Nageshwara Temple in Begur near the city. Written in Hale Kannada (Ancient Kannada) of the 9th century CE, the epigraph refers to a Bengaluru war in 890 in which Buttanachetty, a servant of Nagatta, died. Though this has been recorded by historian R. Narasimhachar in his Epigraphia of Carnatica (Vol. 10 supplementary), no efforts have been made to preserve it. The inscription stone found near Begur reveals, that the district was part of the Ganga kingdom ruled from Gangavadi until 1024 C.E and was known as "Benga-val-oru", the "City of Guards" in old Kannada. In 1024 C.E, the Chola Empire captured the city. Today, little evidence can be seen of this period. A small village in south Bengalooru and one in Anantapur district bear the Chola name but the residents are of native stock. The later Gangas often fought alongside the Chalukyas, Rastrakutas and the Hoysalas. In 1117 C.E, the Hoysala king Veera Ballala II defeated the Cholas in the battle of Talakad which lead to the downfall of the Chola empire.

There is an inscription dated 1628 C.E in the Ranganatha Temple in Telugu. The English translation of which is: "Be it well, When Rajadhi-Raja-Parameshwara Vira Pratapa Vira-Maha-Deva Maharaya seated in the Jewel throne was ruling the empire of the world: When of the Asannavakula, the Yelahanka Nadu Prabhu Kempanacharya-Gauni's grandson Kempe Gowda's son, Immadi Kempegaunayya was ruling a peaceful kingdom in righteousness with the decline of the Vijayanagar empire, the eclipse of the rule of Yelahanka Nadu Prabhus took place at the dawn of the 17th century."

Bangalore was the capital of Yelahankanadu Prabhu's for 101 years from 1537 to 1638 A.D. Kempe Gowda I or Hiriya Kempe Gowda (c 1513-1569, c 1510-1570 AD) was a great visionary, a builder, and an enthusiastic and energetic ruler. He subdued the warring neighbourly chieftains and brought in prosperity and peace to the people. After 32 years of his rule, his son Gidde Gowda ruled for 15 years from 1570 to 1585. Thereafter, Kempe Gowda II ruled for 48 years (from 1585 to 1633), and like his grandfather, he was a brave soldier and a great builder. He is known for many constructions like the Ranganathaswamy temple in Balepet, forts in Magadi and Savanadurga and tanks including the Kempapura and Karanjikere tanks. The watch-towers in Lalbagh, Kempambudhi tank, Halasur tank (near Ulsoor lake), and near Mekhri circle have become famous as Kempe Gowda towers... that marked Bengalore's boundary. The watch- tower is now the insignia of the Bangalore City Corporation.

Therefore origin of Bangalore is clearly marked by the ceremony of furrowing the main streets by Kempe Gowda I in 1537 A.D. This can also be assumed as the commencement of its political history. However, there was human habitation much earlier around the place now known as Bangalore. Stone Age weapons belonging to 2000 to 1000 B.C. have been found near Jalahalli, Siddapur, and Gavipura. Iron Age relics of about 800 B.C. have been found in Kannur, Jadigenahalli, Koramangla, and other places. Roman coins of Augustus, Tibirius, Cadius, and Caligula of about 1st Century A.D. have been unearthed from Yeshwantapur and HAL areas. Inscriptions and historical evidences belonging to various periods - Talakadu Gangas (2nd to 10th Century A.D.), Cholas (1004-1116 A.D.), Hoysalas (1116-1336 A.D.), and Vijayanagar Kings (1336 A.D. onwards) - show that several dynasties ruled over this area. In addition, many veeragals (hero stones) have been found in various places of Bangalore. Hero stones found in Lalbagh and Kengeri (10th Century), lake in Krishnarajapura (11th Century), near Railway Housing Colony (13th Century), and near the band-stand in Lalbagh Glass House (13th Century) clearly show that the area was well inhabited and well settled.

(More later...)

Note: The views expressed here are entirely in good humour and without malice.

Photograph:

Hilarious take on the topic of this post. Apt... right?!! Pic courtesy: Link.

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans...

I read this on Shwetal's blog... This one truly deserves a read... Hope this lifestyle/attitude culture moves forward - even if slowly. Don't know who the author is, but as long as the message gets conveyed, it doesn't matter...

It's been 18 years since I joined Volvo, a Swedish company. Working for them has proven to be an interesting experience. Any project here takes 2 years to be finalized, even if the idea is simple and brilliant. It's a rule.

Globalized processes have caused in us (all over the world) a general sense of searching for immediate results. Therefore, we have come to possess a need to see immediate results. This contrasts greatly with the slow movements of the Swedish. They, on the other hand, debate, debate, debate, hold x quantity of meetings and work with a slowdown scheme. At the end, this always yields better results.

1. Sweden has 2 million inhabitants.
2. Stockholm has 500,000 people.
3. Volvo, Escania, Ericsson, Electrolux, are some of its renowned companies. Volvo even supplies NASA.

The first time I was in Sweden, one of my colleagues picked me up at the hotel every morning. It was September, bit cold and snowy. We would arrive early at the company and he would park far away from the entrance (2000 employees drive their car to work).

The first day, I didn't say anything, neither the second or third days. One morning I asked him, "Do you have a fixed parking space? I've noticed we park far from the entrance even when there are no other cars in the lot."

To which he replied, "Since we're here early we'll have time to walk, don't you think that whoever gets in late will need a place closer to the door?" Imagine my face.

Now-a-days, there's a movement in the world named 'Slow Food'. This movement establishes that people should eat and drink slowly, with enough time to taste their food, spend time with the family, friends, without rushing. 'Slow Food' is against its counterpart, 'Fast Food' and what it stands for as a lifestyle. 'Slow Food' is the basis for a bigger movement called 'Slow Down'.

Basically, the movement questions the sense of "hurry" and "craziness" generated by globalization, fuelled by the desire of "having in quantity" (life status) versus "having with quality", "life quality" or the "quality of being".

French people, even though they work 35 hours per week, are more productive than Americans or British. Germans have established 28.8 hour workweeks and have seen their productivity driven up by 20%.

This slow attitude has come to the notice of USA , the pupils of the fast and "do it now" brigade.

This no-rush attitude doesn't represent doing less or having a lower productivity. It means working and doing things with greater quality, productivity, perfection, with attention to detail and less stress. It means re-establishing family values, friends, free and leisure time. Taking the "now", present and concrete, versus the "global", undefined and anonymous. It means taking humans' essential values, the simplicity of living. It stands for a less coercive work environment, more happy, lighter and more productive work place where humans enjoy doing what they know best how to do.

It's time to stop and think on how companies need to develop serious quality with no-rush that will increase productivity and the quality of products and services, without losing the essence.

In the movie, 'Scent of a Woman', there's a scene where Al Pacino asks a girl to dance and she replies, "I can't, my boyfriend will be here any minute now."
To which Al Pacino responds, "A life is lived in an instant."
Then they dance the tango!

Many of us live our lives running behind time, but we only reach it when we die of a heart attack or in a car accident rushing to be on time. Others are so anxious to live for the future that they forget to live the present, which is the only time that truly exists.

We all have equal time throughout the world. No one has more or less. The difference lies in how each one of us does with our time. We need to live each moment. As John Lennon said, "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans."

Author's note: You must also read: "Take nothing but memories, leave nothing but footprints!"

Photograph:

Nice one... don't you think?!!

Demo-crazy... !!!

Author's note: Do read "An Ode to... One year of UPA-II...!!!"

After ignoring 'yeh andar ki baat hai' for long... our Bollywood heros have taken to 'vested' interests... like an item song. Mahesh reminded me about the 3G auction... some missing facts, that is. At ease. Raja caused a loss of 1.9 lakh crores. Can anyone tell me... how many zeros?? It was all for the nation... which is our poly-tricians' playstation. India is a poor country... with some very rich people. Sometimes... we simply go and 'bray' at the temple! Simple! And no dimple! Corruption did you say? Mind you... you'll be cast(e) away. Arundhati Roy... is fast turning out to be such a killjoy. Wonder why she never says anything about Texas. What is the nexus?

It is the season of the mangoes. The quintessential 'mango-man'. No fan... we are likely to get a natural tan. Therefore, the 'aam' and the 'jaanta' are quite inseparable! At every injustice... out of fear... we tremble. As they say in namma Bengaluru... 'Namge yaake beku Ramayana'... ?? O saathi re... tere bina bhi kya jeena! Women should only wear sari. Swalpa adjust maadi!

Jaani, jinke ghar sheeshe ke hon, woh dusron par paththar nahi phenka karte. Hanste hanste kat jaye raste...

Tunak tun tana... Paanch rupaiya bara ana. Money hai... to honey hai! Sara saher mujhe loin ke naam se jaanta hai. Mere paas Maa hai. Toh kya hua? Mogambo khush hua...

The 'custodians' of Indian society... get very uppity. And 'sons-of-the-soil' legions... vow to 'uphold our ancient culture and traditions'. No rations. Together they make sure... this will endure. And that nobody will dare to cross the 'red lines'... and break the 'set boundaries'. Especially... anything in skirts, salwars and sarees. Still, if they 'dare'... they will be confronted with 'our ancient culture and traditions'... in the most barbaric and brutal manner. All is fair... in love and war. What love? This is 'war'. Hypocrisy galore? For sure!

Meanwhile... there is a collective amnesia about 'Swayamvar'. Hear! Hear!

No land ceiling. While... we call a cold-blooded, premeditated murder as 'honour killing'. Very, very telling...

Women... thirty and above... should forget about love. That path is not for them to tread... just make the daily bread. With younger men... they are 'cougars'. With older men... 'gold diggers'. Sniggers! As for the old men? All good Karma and Zen. Each one is just a harmless 'sugar daddy'. Gifting only soft toys and teddy. They need not be shy... for having a roving eye. Or for their hair dye! 'Budhi ghodi lal lagaam'... will sneer the 'jaanta aam'. Capsicum! While... 'Men will be Men'. Always ten on ten!

We are comfortable once 'lovers' ('dirty' word) who cross the 'red lines'... have safely met their maker. Boris 'Boom Boom' Becker. Then temples and shrines are built in their name. All very game. Shame? What shame...?? Paeans are written, songs are sung... and they are 'immortalized'. How very wise! Ranjha minus Heer. We just love kheer! We can't advertise for any liquor... even Beer. Oh dear! Rules are rules... and can't be broken. Then... just bend it like Beckham. It's only token. Well spoken!

'Nobel prizes' are few and far between... while 'No-bail prizes' are aplenty! Tainty-Tainty... not Twenty-Twenty! They leave no traces... in this country of pending court room cases. Out-of-court 'settlements'... is the mantra for our 'honourable' gents! Steal others' work for profit... and then sue them for... Copyright infringement! No saint... just whitewash and paint. Mosquitoes and lawyers? Peter England and John Players! No fancy flight... get ready for the chase. As the mosquito says: "I was already a bloodsucking parasite. All I needed was the briefcase." Lee-Hesh. All the noise and din? Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn!

We have the potential to be an IT-BT powerhouse. No cheese and no mouse. 'Yeh IT-YT kya hai'... says our netas. By jupiter! Did you say... its all very hazy... ?? No, no... just demo-crazy!

Mere desh ki dharti sona ugle... ugle heere moti. So, heavy demand for license number 'Four Twenty'! Then for... 'roti-kaapda-makaan' and 'bijli-sadak-paani'... where is the money... ??? Only Mona-Tony! Baap numbari, Beta Dus nambari. It's a privilege. No thank you... no sorry. Hawk, hawk! No action... all talk!

Kitne aadmi thay... phir bhi gayi bhains paani main. Lekin... Don ko pakadna mushkil hi nahi, namumkin hai. Senorita, bade bade deshon mein... aisi choti choti baatein... hoti rehti hai. After all... Dil Chhata hai! The heart is an umbrella... and we all love Cinderella!

Babumoshai... Chalti Ka Naam Gadi. Hurry! Hurry! Hum jaha pe khade ho jaate hein, line wahi se shuru hoti hai. Sigh! Ok Tata... Bye, Bye! Horn OK Please. Attention... Stand at ease! More cheese? Yes please!

No tension. Remember... "First impress-aan izz laast impress-aan". No Jashn, only Tashan. Tera kya hoga Kaalia? Aila! Juhi Chawla! No fire... only smoke. What a joke! No hosh... no josh. Khaaaamoshhh... !!!

Volcanic eruptions from 'Eyjafjallajökull' brought the world to a standstill. Jack and Jill... went up the hill. What a tongue-twister! Barnacles blister. Nope! Blistering Barnacles! Chuckles! Chuckles! Smoke and ash... all the way from Iceland... is not bland. In this 'Kali Yug' plus 'Jet Age'... the world is truly a global village. You bet! Well said!

The prices of rice and tur. Chashme Buddoor. Inflation? Jaane bhi do yaaron. Dekho mein le aaya... Paro. Wham baam! Traffic jam... but no shortage of egg-jam. Cell phone? Bring them on! No Bips... only John. Dostana? Professor J Dot Asthana. Munna Bhai... is not shy.

Gustakhi maaf... but Andaaz apna apna. In broad daylight... no 'seeing' sapna. The 'Sarkar' is in no danger. More than fiction... truth is stranger. Having breakfast for dinner... Baazigar is the clear winner. Chaku-Churi and Hera Pheri. Tumhara naam kya hai, Basanti?!! Emosional atyachaar? Vanakkam Saar! 'Chuck' de Railways to 'Chuck' de India... oops Bengal. You fool... it's Trinamool, Trinamool! In town... 'Didi' is the new toast. Picture abhi baaki hai mere dost! With a twist in the tale... Aal izz well... !!! Only oil's not well... and so is diesel!

(More later...)

Footnote:

Vanakkam = Namaste. Saar = Ji.

'Namge yaake beku Ramayana'... ?? = Why should we invite trouble?

The line... 'country of pending court room cases'... courtesy: Yayaver.

Note: The views expressed here are entirely in good humour and without malice.

Cartoons courtesy: http://blogs.hindustantimes.com/dabs-and-jabs/tag/upa/ and http://blogs.hindustantimes.com/dabs-and-jabs/2010/06/04/f-r-i-e-n-d-s/

Photographs:

Hilarious takes on the Political scenario - in India.