Con on the cob: Con-spicuous. Con-scientious. Con-spiracy!

Somebody find this chap - Conscience - please. A few years ago Conscience did not allow someone to be PM and now stopped another from standing for President.

Conscience - is clearly bad for our demo-crazy. Hypo-crisy failing too! Hyper-crisy may be required - soon. But the hippo-potamus can continue to happily lounge wherever it has been lounging. No gerrymandering.

The POTUS cannot be so sure though.

Elections fast approaching: whether people will still believe in small change or ask for big change?! Only time will tell.

But one must keep their oven mitt handy.

Move over Hippocrates. Gilani is the new Socrates. Hippopotami have outlived Ptolemy.

As for the great Abraham Lincoln, I simply cannot believe he has accumulated so much bad karma. Pro forma. First Hollywood turned him into a Vampire Hunter and then Mushy (now without the bush-shirt) - claims to be Abraham Lincoln II !!

Umm, even though Bushy was Empire Hunter, there won't ever be any posthumous banter, I assure you.

Elsewhere, hopes have been rekindled about the rebirth of the Mayan Civilization. It's also called hedging one's bets vis-à-vis the Cycle. Tricycle may be required in future :)

So you see: haathi mere saathi. And Appu Raja: more Band Baaja.

The Elephant must be our national animal. Latent version. After all, the tiger is near extinction.

However, fishy diplomacy is epic fail. Jack and Jill may now have to be tasked with fetching water - in a giant pail.

In our neighbourhood, Syrious action is being contemplated. iRan. Syrianna. Nothing for holy republic of camelflaged banana!

Holy Cows easier to blame, holy Camels = 'consequences'. Com se com sa.

Libya. Egypt. Gone with the wind. Now: Lawrence of Arabia.

Cleopatra: Burqini Lasso.

Debhelopment is a global consh-piracy. First, demo-crazy to be sprinkled like, salt and pepper. Later the beoble gets to feel the radio and cassette mirchi.

Mali, Somalia, Uganda, Nigeria, Libya, Egypt and Yemen: Lush beard-farms and He-Men.

Earlier: Who is the Potter, pray, and who the Pot?

Now: Who are the Puppeteers, pray, and who the Puppets?

War on Terror: Immaculate Deception. In test tubes and petri dishes was their conception.

Five-sided polygon cohabitated with holy camel. Holy djinn (that also produced unlimited electricity) - made its grand entry. Outcome: bumper harvest - lots of sentry.

Proliferation of Rakta-beej: Reality is no tease. Who moved my cheese?!

Education = brainwashing. Faith = cannon balls. Knowledge = Solar eclipse.

Future generations = Lunar eclipse. Elsewhere: wine and dine, fish and chips.

It's all a game of Oilympics!

Oil is 'fair' in love and war. Racial supremacy. Very dicey!

Afghumistan destroyed. So what? Wasn't it a great victory for the people, I mean: for the five-sided polygon's deltoid?!

Cold War: Child Bear. War on Terror: King Kong.

Ding Dong Bell, Pussy in the Well.

Who Put her in? Little Tommy Thin.

Who pulled her out? Little Tommy Stout.

This Tommy is Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde. Baa Baa Black Sheep. Couture: Wolf's hide.

Aid and Charity: Fiction. Ditty.

Fox trot. Foxy trot. On the dot!

Dinosaurs: Extinct. Book diplodocus: Very much in.

Best fish. Salmon Rusty. Rest: wannabes and honeybees. Others: Salmonella typhi and tie-coons.

New playing fields. Very simple! Hocus Pocus. Abracadabra.

No red, only Red Bull. Cold War, you fool!

Berlin Wall is falling down, falling down. Eureka. Perestroika!

Soviet land is crumbling down, crumbling down. Nobel. Glasnost!

Chinaman? Don't want kabab mein haddi. Boneless Chicken Manchurian better. Buy-Buy.

Chinese chequers. Russian roulette. Sine Theta. Cos Theta. Tan Theta. Pi.

Indian Bamboo. Deep mystery. Long history. Take-no-logy. Fungi.

India. Smiling Buddha. Myanmar. Laughing Buddha. Tastes delicious with oil. On the boil.

Thai Chicken Manchurian. Noodle Diplomacey.

Vietnam. Japan. Flash in the pan!

Korea South. Flashing teeth. Korea North. Flashing canines. Both are white teeth. So, same to same! Jellyfish.

Sufism. Bye-Bye. Destroy. Holy Camel's Rooh Afza: Great. Oh Boy!

Into South Asia: bring it on. After all, terror cannot retire. Simply re-hire.

Beauty and the Beast re-done: Job security + 72 virginal beauty. For each beast! Better than a heist. Hee-hee.

Arabian Knights. Dark Knights. Alif Laila. One long, dark, never ending night.

The Knights in shining armour. Cyclops.

Numero UNo: vulture in dove's feathers and tail. Hail their Holy Grail.

War on Terror is here to stay. While the sun shines, make hay.

And fish in troubled waters too. Woo-Hoo. Karate. Parkour. Kung fu.

Breakfast. Cold Turkey. Lunch. Egyptian Mummy.

Snacks. Bamiyan Buddha. Dinner. A la carte.

Munchies. Mali. Dilly Dally.

Get the drift?? Phew, what a relief!

Intelligence. Zombilance. Clarity of thought. Cobwebs. Webolutions. Making merry. Picking cherry.

Game, Set, Match. Tom and Jerry. Very gory? No worry.

Huff Puff. Hurry Bury. Dictionary. Say Sorry.

Con on the cob. *Sob! Sob!*

Photograph: Pic. courtesy: Link. [All in good humour, I assure you.]

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans...

I read this on Shwetal's blog... This one truly deserves a read... Hope this lifestyle/attitude culture moves forward - even if slowly. Don't know who the author is, but as long as the message gets conveyed, it doesn't matter...

It's been 18 years since I joined Volvo, a Swedish company. Working for them has proven to be an interesting experience. Any project here takes 2 years to be finalized, even if the idea is simple and brilliant. It's a rule.

Globalized processes have caused in us (all over the world) a general sense of searching for immediate results. Therefore, we have come to possess a need to see immediate results. This contrasts greatly with the slow movements of the Swedish. They, on the other hand, debate, debate, debate, hold x quantity of meetings and work with a slowdown scheme. At the end, this always yields better results.

1. Sweden has 2 million inhabitants.
2. Stockholm has 500,000 people.
3. Volvo, Escania, Ericsson, Electrolux, are some of its renowned companies. Volvo even supplies NASA.

The first time I was in Sweden, one of my colleagues picked me up at the hotel every morning. It was September, bit cold and snowy. We would arrive early at the company and he would park far away from the entrance (2000 employees drive their car to work).

The first day, I didn't say anything, neither the second or third days. One morning I asked him, "Do you have a fixed parking space? I've noticed we park far from the entrance even when there are no other cars in the lot."

To which he replied, "Since we're here early we'll have time to walk, don't you think that whoever gets in late will need a place closer to the door?" Imagine my face.

Now-a-days, there's a movement in the world named 'Slow Food'. This movement establishes that people should eat and drink slowly, with enough time to taste their food, spend time with the family, friends, without rushing. 'Slow Food' is against its counterpart, 'Fast Food' and what it stands for as a lifestyle. 'Slow Food' is the basis for a bigger movement called 'Slow Down'.

Basically, the movement questions the sense of "hurry" and "craziness" generated by globalization, fuelled by the desire of "having in quantity" (life status) versus "having with quality", "life quality" or the "quality of being".

French people, even though they work 35 hours per week, are more productive than Americans or British. Germans have established 28.8 hour workweeks and have seen their productivity driven up by 20%.

This slow attitude has come to the notice of USA , the pupils of the fast and "do it now" brigade.

This no-rush attitude doesn't represent doing less or having a lower productivity. It means working and doing things with greater quality, productivity, perfection, with attention to detail and less stress. It means re-establishing family values, friends, free and leisure time. Taking the "now", present and concrete, versus the "global", undefined and anonymous. It means taking humans' essential values, the simplicity of living. It stands for a less coercive work environment, more happy, lighter and more productive work place where humans enjoy doing what they know best how to do.

It's time to stop and think on how companies need to develop serious quality with no-rush that will increase productivity and the quality of products and services, without losing the essence.

In the movie, 'Scent of a Woman', there's a scene where Al Pacino asks a girl to dance and she replies, "I can't, my boyfriend will be here any minute now."
To which Al Pacino responds, "A life is lived in an instant."
Then they dance the tango!

Many of us live our lives running behind time, but we only reach it when we die of a heart attack or in a car accident rushing to be on time. Others are so anxious to live for the future that they forget to live the present, which is the only time that truly exists.

We all have equal time throughout the world. No one has more or less. The difference lies in how each one of us does with our time. We need to live each moment. As John Lennon said, "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans."

Author's note: You must also read: "Take nothing but memories, leave nothing but footprints!"

Photograph:

Nice one... don't you think?!!

Junior comes calling... and how... !!! (Part-III)

Well... continuing from where I left off in Part-I and Part II...

I underwent an elective LSCS in view of the previous myomectomy. Due to the spinal anaesthesia... I was able to hear and observe everything... even though a little drowsy. Only a bit, that is. I couldn't feel my legs and had no idea when the operation commenced... since a drape was put up before me. Else I would have seen the entire operation with my own eyes... and then would have required smelling salt, gulab ke phool, shoes, even buckets/mugs/jugs of water!! Perhaps... all of them and more!! Or... may have met with Chitragupta... for a li'l face-to-face chat. Not very appealing... what say??

Within 5-10 minutes I heard the anaesthetist say that I had a cute looking boy baby and that everything was fine. He congratulated me... and I heard the cry of a newborn baby. My baby! My little miracle! Then the drape was lowered temporarily and my baby... my own flesh and blood... was held up before me by the doc. He was crying full throttle... while I was staring at him totally fascinated! The nurses said... they will clean him up and bring him back... so that I could get a better view of him. He reappeared after a few minutes... all cleaned up and wrapped in a white towel... and the nurses held him close to my face. I kissed him and said: "Baby... welcome to earth." He just kept looking at me! And no... he did not resemble a prawn (!)... thats what I used to think all newborn babies look like *Hee hee*

Those were moments I will never forget... ever in my life. Nothing whatsoever... no achievements, rewards, awards... nothing at all... ever or will ever compare/match up to the feeling I experienced and still do. Of seeing my baby and hearing his cries for the very first time. And I said so to my doc as well. She just smiled. Having helped deliver thousands of babies for so many years... 3 decades to be precise... she is a veteran... and has witnessed this scene or heard this line... many times over. I'm sure.

Thereafter the rest of the surgery was completed... and I was wheeled into an 'observation room' inside the OT. After half an hour or so... I was taken to my room... where M and other family members were waiting... eagerly. The doc had already met them... and reassured that everything went on well... and that both mommy (yours truly) and baby were doing fine. Baby was already there... being carried/held by everyone... in turns. He must have been a little (or is it totally?) bewildered with all the sights, sounds and fussing over. A far cry from the compact and quiet world of the mother's womb... that he was so used to until a few minutes ago.

Even dad (M's father) had come... despite having undergone a cataract operation a couple of days ago. I told him... he was looking like a matinee hero of yore... courtesy his new glasses. He laughed... his usual boisterous laugh.

Now to chronicle M's experience: When our (newborn) baby was taken outside the OT (to be cleaned up)... he saw his 'papa'... looked at him and then slowly licked his lips with a languid grace. M says he doesn't know what happened to him thereafter. He just ran behind the nurse... following baby. Even though the nurse said she'll clean baby up and bring him back... he followed her and baby all the way and back. That's how the new 'papa' in him reacted. He too will never forget this experience. For sure! Truly priceless... our 'baby shona'. But... there was no couch-jumping for the new daddy. Sorry... Tom Cruize!

In keeping with the south Indian tradition of "auspicious time"/"muhurtams" we avoided "amavas" (amavasya) and got our discharge accordingly. We left the hospital in time to get home well before 1.30 pm... since 1.30 pm (on that day) was the deadline (under the "auspicious time") for baby's homecoming... after a short puja, that is. It is so exciting to bring your brand new baby home from the hospital! You want everything to go just perfectly. The cradle had already been bought the previous day... while the fumigation and a bit of carpentary work (fixing mosquito nets on the windows, etc) were completed a couple of days before. Courtesy baby's papa! Had it not been for the sudden and stressful dash to the finishing line (to quote Deepa)... things would never have been so rushed.

Sleepless nights, changing diapers or feeding him... nothing seems to be a chore. For all those out there... in the blogosphere and elsewhere... who are 'scared' of parenthood... I say that it is truly an amazing experience. And very enriching too. Not at all scary... unless you listen to Mel B of course!

We are savouring every moment spent with our 'baby shona'. His naming ceremony is yet to happen... so thats his name... for now. We are enjoying this experience of nurturing our baby... his cries and smiles mean the world to us. He still goes 'la-la-la-la-la' when he wants to be fed. Methinks... since 'L' is the word that comes right before 'M'... that magical word 'Ma' is not far away. What say... ??? *I'm beaming already*

He loves to pull my nose, tries to reach out for me or wraps his little fingers around mine... and I melt totally... everytime he smiles... when I kiss those tiny fingers and toes. Just a couple of days ago... I was rewarded with a kiss... 'baby shona style'. In response to my "give mummy a kiss"... he gently rubbed his lips against my cheeks! And... I still have no words to describe the feeling! Its just three inches short of heaven... or perhaps this is heaven. I am reminded of Amir Khusro's poetry (in Persian): "Agar firdaus bar roo-e zameen ast, Hameen ast-o hameen ast-o hameen ast." Meaning: If there is any paradise on the face of the earth, It is this, it is this, it is this. (He was referring to the unmatched beauty of the 'Paradise on Earth'... Kashmir.) I recollect this poem... with suitable customization of course! Baby's excitement and wonder at every new thing... a sound, a new movement that he has just learnt (self taught)... has to be seen to be believed. I can spend all my time just looking at him...

Mom and dad (M's parents) say that 'baby shona' is their 'li'l daddy' as well. I agree... and have told dad that baby is most certainly his 'li'l daddy'... since both do not have teeth! My nephew... all of four-and-a-half years... is very keen to cook - biriyani - for baby. He was the youngest in the family... until the arrival of 'baby shona' that is... and is keen to move up the ladder, so to speak. He makes it a point to go near baby's cradle several times a day to say, "see baby your big brother is here". More so if baby is crying! As for the biriyani... I have asked dad to lend his dentures (to baby) once Y succeeds in his culinary aspirations!

Though much of our time goes in feeding him, changing nappies and trying to get some sleep (the first 3 weeks or so... we hardly slept) we love spending a lot of time just watching our li'l son. He has started making different sounds (must be 'baby language')... and loves to move his hands and legs. I guess that has to do with this being the cricket and football season! Somehow... we are missing nothing else... not even sleep. I never knew... having a baby is such a joy!

Note: Bollywood isn't educational... it takes its own (patented/copyrighted) theatrical liberties. An OT (operation theatre) is usually a large room with multiple operations happening simultaneously. The relatives/friends/attenders of patients are never allowed to stand/sit/walk up and down the corridor outside the OT/or peep into the OT. They have to do all that... at a distance (quite far away)... from the OT. Nobody is allowed to assemble outside the OT. The doc does not meet anybody (relatives or attenders of patients) outside the OT. Get that...?!! '3 Idiots' is another matter altogether.

Caesarean section: Etymology: The name for the procedure is said to have been derived from a Roman legal code called "Lex Caesarea", which allegedly contained a law prescribing that the baby be cut out of its mother's womb in the case that she dies before giving birth. The derivation of the name is also often attributed to an ancient story, told in the first century A.D. by Pliny the Elder, which claims that an ancestor of the Roman Emperor - Julius Caesar - was delivered in this manner. An alternative etymology suggests that the procedure's name derives from the Latin verb caedere (supine stem caesum), "to cut," in which case the term "Caesarean section" is redundant. Proponents of this view consider the traditional derivation to be a false etymology, though the supposed link with Julius Caesar has clearly influenced the spelling.

Bindusara (Born c. 320 BC, ruled: 298 - c.272 BC), the second Mauryan emperor of India after Chandragupta Maurya the Great, is said to be the first child born via surgery. According to a legend, (which is a later jaina invention) it is believed that while Chanakya served as the Prime Minister of Emperor Chandragupta Maurya, he started adding small quantities of poison in Chandragupta's food - so that he would get used to it and develop resistance to poison. The aim for such an action was to prevent the Emperor from being poisoned by enemies. One day the Queen, Durdha, shared the food with the Emperor (the Queen was in the family way then). Since she was not used to eating poisoned food, she died. Chanakya was determined that the baby should not die; therefore, he cut open the belly of the dead Queen and took out the baby. A drop ('bindu' in Sanskrit) of the poisoned blood had by then touched the baby's head, and hence Chanakya named him 'Bindusara'. Bindusara later went on to become a great Emperor in his own right and also fathered the greatest Mauryan Emperor since Chandragupta - Emperor Asoka.

Caesarean section usually resulted in the death of the mother; the first recorded incidence of a woman surviving a Caesarean section was in 1500, in Siegershausen, Switzerland: Jakob Nufer, a pig gelder, is supposed to have performed the operation on his wife after a prolonged labour. For most of the time since the sixteenth century, the procedure had a high mortality. However, it was long considered an extreme measure, performed only when the mother was already dead or considered to be beyond help.

Y2K miracle: On March 5, 2000, Inés Ramírez performed a caesarean section on herself and survived, as did her son, Orlando Ruiz Ramírez. She is believed to be the only woman to have performed a successful Caesarean section on herself. The lady certainly walked on water! She was born to. If you're going to walk on water, you better feel it in every fiber of your being... and prepare yourself for the pain. You better be born to do it too! After all, flying is harder than walking on water (I think) and we've already achieved that.

I think she deserves a 'platinum medal' for unmatched and unmatchable bravery as well as craziness! Homo sapiens sapiens are surely the greatest wonder of the universe and beyond! Don't you agree??

(Concluded...)

P.S. My IndiRank had taken a tumble from 82 to 69... courtesy my long hibernation from the bloggersville. But... is now back at 81 *a big smile*

Photograph:

Tiny little feet (Pic courtesy: link)

Junior comes calling... and how... !!! (Part-II)

Well... continuing from where I left off in Part-I...

The first thing that both M and Lakshmi asked/told me was about the "auspicious time"... for the following day (meaning... the time that baby should make his/her appearance on this planet). I had no idea... yours truly not being a stickler for such things/matters/stuffs. But I guess... in the south of India... folks do believe a lot in "auspicious time"/"muhurtams". And so "auspicious time" it was.

We found that 6-7 am in the morning was a 'very auspicious time'... but I vetoed it. I have never woken up that early even during my 'egg-jams'... what to say about the sudden arrival of a freshly-minted baby!!! From 7-9 am it was "Raahu Kalam" or "Rahu Kal"... that part of that day that should be avoided for all auspicious activities. From 9 am-12 noon it was "Yama Kalam"... or "Yama's time" i.e., 'influenced by the redoubtable Yamaraj'... no less! Yama/Yamaraj being the 'Lord of death'... as per the Vedas. That he is also referred to as 'Dharmaraj' (the Lord of justice... in reference to his unswerving dedication to maintaining order and adherence to harmony) and is believed to be the eldest Pandava and the epitome of piety and righteousness - Yudhistira's father... is conveniently forgotten! And since I had no intention of meeting his assistant - Chitragupta - during or after the operation... we rejected this time slot altogether. Then we discovered that 12 noon-4 pm was also a good time.

Even though yours truly is no stickler for astrology and/or muhurtams... I felt that it was inappropriate to have the baby during inauspicious hours... knowingly. It was simply not the right thing to do. Hence I obliged. Noblesse oblige (?)... well, not quite. Or maybe. We informed the doc about it... and she very graciously agreed to reschedule the operation at 12 noon (the following day). And yours truly gave 'strict' instructions to the nurses... to wheel me into the OT only at 12 noon. Not a minute before. They too obliged.

Continuing our discussion about Yamaraj... he is also called Kāla ("Time"). Lord Shiva is also called Kāla ("Time") as well as Mahākāla ("Great Time") in his form as the destroyer of the world. It is said that Yama is also one of the wisest of the devas. In the Katha Upanishad, among the most famous Upanishads, Yama is portrayed as a teacher. He is the father of Yudhisthira (also known as Dharmaraja), the oldest brother of the 5 Pandavas (Karna was born prior to Kunti's wedlock, so technically Karna is Yudhishthira's older brother) and is said to have incarnated as Vidur (known for speaking the truth and for his intelligence) by some accounts in the Mahabharata period. But then... we no longer follow... nor are guided by the Upanishads. 'UPAnishad'... is the new way to go! *wink wink*

Frankly speaking... noone can claim to have ever met or seen these two gentlemen... Messers Yama and Rahu. Yet all are convinced beyond a shred of doubt that certain timings belong to them i.e., to say are influenced by them. Ha!

Through the night and the following morning... preparations for the surgery were carried out. Checking of "Bleeding Time" and "Clotting Time"... apart from B.P., temperature, enema (the procedure of introducing liquids into the rectum and colon via the anus... for complete evacuation of the lower intestinal tract)... and finally the urinary catherization (wherein a plastic tube known as a urinary catheter is gently slid into a patient's bladder via his or her urethra. Catheterization allows the patient's urine to drain freely from the bladder for collection in a urine bag... outside the body). Frankly speaking... I find the catheterization and the enema... truly disgusting. But did not have a choice.

I was allowed to have solid food till 7 am... after which it was "nothing by mouth". Meaning: no intake of solid food... not even liquid/beverage or plain ol' water... since the digestive tract needed to be empty. Around 11.30 am I was dressed in the green hospital gown (patient gown) and cap (to cover my hair), while my legs were wrapped with a white cloth cover - individually. Then I was asked to get on the stretcher. The nurses helped me of course. Thereafter I was wheeled into the OT (operation theatre)... after 12 Noon. Once there, I was shifted onto the operation table... or rather asked to shift... with assistance from the OT staff of course.

Ummm... I understand... that the 'hospital gown' is also called 'exam gown', 'johnny shirt' or 'johnny gown'. I have never sat for my 'egg-jams' in this gown... and I thought that Johnny was only a 'gaddar' with a weakness for Bips! With a dash of vidya thrown in for garnishing. You know... to spice things up *wink wink* Or is it to please the goddess Saraswati... ?!! My guess is as good as yours! Apart from being fond of wearing yellow-coloured itsy-bitsy swimming trunks to flaunt his body beautiful, that is... !!! I couldn't have been more wrong...

Ummm... since I have mentioned both Yamaraj and his assistant Chitragupta in this post... I guess it would be appropriate to share this humorous story (involving 2 trainee Yamadoots or messengers of Yamaraj and 5 other characters besides Yamaraj himself along with Chitragupta) with you all. Read and enjoy "First Day At Work".

(... to be continued)

Note: Some info courtesy Wikipedia.

Photograph:

1. Tiny little feet (Pic courtesy: link)

Junior comes calling... and how... !!! (Part-I)

Hello everybody!!! I'm back... and intend to be as 'regular' as possible with my posts... going forward. Which means... being 'regularly irregular' or 'irregularly regular'. Yet again. *wink wink* Let me also apologise for taking yet another unscheduled/unannounced 'extended vacation' from bloggersville. Again. *more winks*

I'll let out the secret... which prompted all these 'extended breaks'. Our li'l bundle of joy has arrived... and we're thrilled to say the least *a big smile*

He is just a few days 'old'. Or should I say 'young'... ?? Hehehe! He hasn't been officially named as yet... for now he is simply 'baby shona' to all of us. 'Shona' in Bengali/Bangla means 'gold'. So... 'baby shona' means 'golden baby' or 'precious baby' or 'priceless treasure'. All rolled into one!

Frankly... I fall short of words to describe what I feel everytime I look at my baby or hold him in my arms. He is such a cutie pie... and everyone says he looks just like moi... !!! Mamma Mia! (For the uninitiated... "Mamma Mia" is an expression Italians use, literally meaning "My Mother"... and it is an interjection denoting various kinds of emotions: surprise, anguish, fear, rejection, joy. Essentially it is an Italian exclamation meaning "Oh my God " or "My gosh!" or "Good heavens!") Here... there is no 'Italian connection' though *wink wink* He isn't a 'cry-baby' or should I say a 'high-need baby' either... and cries only when he is hungry or needs a diaper change. Or when he is being given a bath... by Ma (his granny and my best half's mom). The moment he begins to feed, or is cleaned up and put on a fresh diaper or finishes his bath... he stops. He even cries in style - Sur mein! And goes... 'la-la-la-la-la' or 'ga-ga-ga-ga-ga'...!! And I love to watch him sleep... and melt totally... everytime he smiles, tries to reach out for me or wraps his little fingers around mine. I gaze at his tiny fists with their little fingers and his tiny little feet... so small and so beautiful... and pink-hued. I kiss those tiny fingers and toes. They remind me of all the baby movements... the soft kicks and mild punches - I felt inside me... all these months. It is a feeling difficult... nay impossible to put down in words. All expectant mothers will nod their heads in agreement... I'm sure!

That all went well... I'm relieved to say the least... and have God and my doc to thank for that. Especially since just over 5 months before our li'l son was born I underwent a myomectomy. This was after the end of the 1st trimester. When I learnt... I was in the family way... I found out about the existence of the (totally unwelcome and unwanted) tumour. Grrrrr! And I didn't know how to react. Then there was the little business of 'resuturing'... since half the sutures/stitches had gaped... shortly after the surgery. The 2nd trimester was uneventful and I was cruising through my 3rd trimester as well. Then came the nasty surprise... when I had just entered into the 9th month. My 'pedal edema' which was mild from the onset of the 3rd trimester... suddenly decided to make its presence felt. But thats not all. During one of my regular bi-weekly check ups... my B.P. (blood pressure) played truant and decided to scale Mt. Everest without my knowledge and/or permission. Hmmph! It read 200/110... !!! All throughout my pregnancy it had behaved itself and remained at 120/80. I had never had B.P. issues ever in my life... and to say I was shocked would be the understatement of the millennium. My doc... who is normally very cool... and goes about her job (performing surgeries, etc) like she was taking a walk in the park, or having a coffee break or as if she was on a sightseeing trip and visiting the Taj Mahal or the Mysore Palace... was shocked too... and asked me to get admitted. Pronto.

My best half and me had plans of having lunch together, dropping in at Crossword (the book shop) to pick up some DVDs, then going over to one of the baby shops for the baby cradle... before heading home... had to cancel all that and rush home. Infact, just a couple of days earlier... we had bought most of the baby stuffs... without an inkling of what was in store 2 days later. My mind was numb and I was thinking of all kinds of unrelated stuffs including Satyajit Ray's "Goopy Gayen Bagha Bayen" and "Joy Baba Felunath"... on the way back! Once there... it took me a while to calm myself down, then I had lunch, packed whatever we needed for surviving our hospital stay and then had a cold shower. That soothed my nerves and by the time we reached the hospital... I was fine and confident enough.

Come to think of it... we were planning to catch William Wyler's delightful "Roman Holiday" on DVD... and ended up going to the hospital, getting admitted and having a baby... a day later!!! Strange are the ways of God! But then... "Roman Holiday" is a reverse fairytale... and so was ours! We did manage to watch this enchanting romantic comedy though... some 15 days after my discharge.

At the hospital... my medical records (of the myomectomy) and the latest scan reports were checked... then I was put through a series of tests and check ups (B.P., pulse, temperature, NST - thats the baby's heart beat monitor - while I was counting the baby movements; blood and urine tests). Phew!

Before all that... as soon as I entered the 'Delivery Room' (in the Maternity Ward) I heard the agonising cries and shrieks of a woman... undergoing labour pain. I was thanking my stars... that I was to undergo a C-section (Caesarean section). I had never heard these cries in real life... and reel-life - courtesy Bollywood (?)... well never mind! To quote an old saying (courtesy Kipling and suitably customized for this post/occasion)... 'Oh, Reel is Reel, and Real is Real... and never the twain shall meet!'

I was put on medication to control/bring down my B.P... but it remained as stubborn as a horse and stayed put on Mt. Everest! Double Grrrrr! The nurses monitored it throughout the night (every 2-3 hours) and took an urine test to check for the presence of albumin. It always read 1+ (no albumin indicate normal B.P.; traces indicate a rise in the B.P. levels that was not alarming... while 1+ meant just the opposite). I was not feeling any symptoms of high blood pressure viz. head ache, dizziness, giddiness, blackouts, etc. None at all. Infact... the high B.P. was not due to anything I was doing or not doing... but due to things beyond my control: placental changes, baby's weight, etc. The doc arrived early in the morning the following day (around 6 or 7 am) - she had a patient going into labour - and checked on me. No change.

Then around 11.30 am I was called (to the 'Delivery Room') for yet another urine test and NST. When I entered... I was surprised to find... it looked kinda deserted. Actually I was sitting just outside the 'labour room'... thinking that the nurses may have stepped out for a quick coffee break or a late breakfast/early lunch! Then I heard my doc's voice. She was saying: "push, push, keep pushing" to her patient in the 'labour room'! I had no idea that a delivery (that too a normal one) was taking place so close to me. It was so quiet... I could hear the sound of the fans! Some say that is the best sound to fall asleep to. Not sure about that though. While undergoing the NST and counting my baby's movements, I heard the cry of a newborn baby!

Once the NST was done... the nurse checked the reading... and my doc met me... after checking the reading of course. The reading was fine... but my B.P. was not. Multiple Grrrrr! Then she explained to me (not that I needed any explaining) what could happen if we delay any further: I could suffer a heart attack (cardiac arrest) or a stroke or a haemorrhage... it could affect the baby as well. In short... it could be life-threatening for both of us. She then asked me... if I was prepared to undergo the surgery... the following morning @ 10.30 am. I just told her that I would go with her judgement/decision. I trusted her totally. She also asked me if I had any alternative time in mind... I said no. I had no idea that my baby was arriving early... in the first place... !!!

First the high B.P., followed by the hospitalization, then to be told that I needed to be prepared for a C-section and the baby... it all happened so quickly... I was finding it difficult to believe it was happening in real time. Preparing for a surgery and a baby... at such a short notice... is easier said than done. Believe me. This is truly 'Jet Age'!

I got back to my room and informed M that he was to become a father the following day. He was surprised... and so were everyone at home. I called my friends as well... one of them - Lakshmi - had herself undergone a C-section a couple of years ago... and gave me some very useful advice/tips. Friends are amazing! Touché.

(... to be continued)

Photographs:

1. Roman Holiday - Movie poster (Pic courtesy: link).

2. Tiny little feet (Pic courtesy: link)

Shubho Bijoya and a very Happy Dussehra/Vijayadashami... !!!

Well, today is Dussehra... and we, i.e., those of us who are in and from the eastern part of India... including the diaspora, spread over the whole wide world celebrate Bijoya/Bijoya Dashami... also called, Vijayadashami ('Bijoya' or 'Vijaya' implies 'Victory' and 'Dashami' implies '10' - i.e., the days of the battle). Also known as 'Dasara', 'Dussehra', Dashahara, Navaratri and Durgotsav... [(Bengali: দশেরা, Kannada: ದಸರ, Malayalam: ദസറ, Marathi: दसरा, Telugu: దసరా and 'Dashain' (in Nepali) and 'Mohani Nakha' in the language of the Newar community of Nepal.]

It signifies the triumph of good over evil. The day Shri Ram returned to Ayodhya (along with his consort Sita and brother Lakshman) after vanquishing and slaying Ravana (the Rakshasa [Asura] monarch of Lanka), and also the day when Goddess Durga along with her daughters (Lakshmi and Saraswati) and sons (Sri Ganesha and Karthikeya)... leaves for her marital home... in the Kailash, which is also the abode of her consort, Lord Shiva. But not before slaying the terrible demon "Mahisasura", who terrorized the earth... and took on several disguises including that of a brutal buffalo... to fight the goddess.

Kolkata (Calcutta) celebrates Durga Puja with overwhelming and unbelievable energy and dynamism. Every Bengali away from home, no matter which part of the world he/she might be in, long to hear the familiar sound of the 'Dhak', be with his/her family and feel the festive spirit of Durga Puja. Sharat's clear blue skies with their fleecy white clouds, the golden sunshine, the swiveling of the white 'Kash phool' in the gentle autumn breeze, grass blades heavily laden with the morning dew, the mild fragrance of the 'Shiuli phool', the sound of the 'Dhak' (YouTube link), the 'Dhaker ladai' (YouTube link), the 'Dhunuchi naach'. A 'dhunuchi' is an earthen pot with a funnel base and an open top. Burning coal, charcoal and dried coconut shell is kept inside this pot... then powdered incense, known as 'dhuno'... is poured over it. A sweet smelling thick white smoke emanates from this... spreads and engulfs your senses. Then with the 'dhakis' (drummers, people who beat the 'dhak') going on a frenzy with their drum beats, the 'dhunuchi dancers' balance the earthen pots, with the base delicately placed on their foreheads. Then they gyrate their bodies to the beat of the 'dhak' keeping the 'dhunuchis' on their foreheads, burning coal and all. Some of them hold an additional couple of 'dhunuchis' with their hands too... while a few even try to manoeuvre one with their leg! It has to be seen to be believed... !!! (YouTube link). The feverish preparations for the Pujas, gifts, good food, and plans for the long 'adda' sessions with friends and family... bring joy to the hearts of all Bengalis as the promise of another auspicious period draws near. This is the time when Bengalis start counting the days for 'Devi Bandana'. Then comes the 'Agamani' - 'Mahalaya'. The 'dhak' is truly the art of Bengal's heart. Just the sound of the beating of the 'dhak'... during the pujas... would make most of us ('probashi bangali') want to run all the way to Bengal and/or Kolkata. Sample this: Link. Simply awesome!!

Durga Puja, the festival of the Bengalis/Assamese/Oriyas/Tripuraites/Nepalis... is the worship of 'Shakti' or the 'divine power'. Most of the religious celebrations in the world have legends surrounding them. The fables are generally of the 'fight between the good and the evil', the dark forces eventually succumbing to the divine. The worship of Goddess Durga is based on mythology too... where Durga symbolizes the divine power (I intend to narrate this story in my next post). Seven days before Her arrival starts the 'Devipaksha' (Debi Pokkho). The day is observed as 'Mahalaya' - the day of invocation. In the dark night of 'amabasya' (new moon), people pray to Goddess Durga to descend on earth to ward off all evils. On the dawn of 'Mahalaya', homes in Bengal resonate with the immortal verses of the 'Chandipath' (chanting of the hymns of 'Chandi'). You can read my 100th post which contains the links to an abridged audio/visual presentation of an All India Radio Recording - "Mahalaya -Mahisasuramardini" (Annihilation of the Demon Mahisasura): HERE. The legendary Birendra Krishna Bhadra has long passed away, but his recorded voice still forms the core of the "Mahalaya" program.

We worship Durga as the mother goddess, the epitome of 'Shakti' (divine power), to deliver us from the evil and bring peace and prosperity in our lives. But the most interesting part of Durga Puja is that, instead of placing Durga on a high alter and worshipping her from a distance... the people of Bengal/Assam/Tripura/Orissa embrace her in their hearts and make her an inseparable member of the family. Goddess Durga is welcomed on the earth as our daughter who visits her parents' home annually.

For these 10 days... she descends on earth... (and stays for four days - on Shashti, Saptami, Ashtami and Nabami) visiting her maternal home in the Himalayas (she being the daughter of Himalaya)... along with her children and her two 'sakhis' - Jaya and Vijaya, during the season of 'Sharatkal' (Ashvin) or 'autumn' when Durga-Puja is celebrated. Thus the other name of 'Durga-puja' is 'Sharodotshob'. Durga as the consort of Lord Shiva represents two forms of female energy - one mild and protective and the other fierce and destructive. Though the sojourn of Goddess Durga on earth starts from the first day of Navaratri... for others, the Bengali community celebrates the arrival from Maha Panchami evening, the fifth day after the new-moon, when the idol of the Goddess along with Ganesh, Kartikeya, Saraswati and Lakshmi are brought to the puja pandal.

She is supposed to have arrived on a palanquin this year (2009)... and is going back riding on an elephant. There are symbolisms involved here. Durga's mode of journey to the earth is detailed in the scriptures. The modes: an elephant, a horse, palanquin and boat... all signify luck or omen which influence the life on earth. The elephant signifies prosperity and good harvest while journey on a horse back indicates drought, a palanquin spells wide spread epidemic and the boat suggests flood and misery.

For the bengali, oriya, assamese, tripurite and the nepali community... amidst festivity and huge enthusiasm the five-day Durga Puja... ended today here and elsewhere in the country with the observance of 'Bijoya Dashami' and the immersion of the idols of Goddess Durga. For these five days the entire area/locality wore a festive look and today, the fifth and the last day of the puja, specially in the evening... hundreds or maybe thousands of devotees marched in a procession towards the various lakes, ponds and rivers... to immerse the deities. Dancing to the beat of the drums/dhaks, blowing of the 'shankha' (conch shells) and burning of 'dhup' (incense), thousands of devotees, mostly the youth, irrespective of gender, leave (in the evening) in a procession of several trucks carrying the images of Durga (and her children) for the immersion rituals. Girls/women are not allowed to board the trucks though. Ironic... isn't it... ?!!

The last day of the 'Sharodiya Durga Puja' is known as 'Bijoya Dashami'. After the last ritual 'Aparajita Puja' is offered to the Goddess, a pall of gloom descends upon one and all... as people bid a tearful farewell (to devi Durga). In Orissa, the women offer Dahi-Pakhal (cooked rice soaked in water and curd), Pitha (pan cake), Mitha (sweets) and Fish fry to the devi. Most of the community pujas postpone the farewell as long as possible and arrange a grand send-off. People are sad... as they have to bid farewell to the divine mother. For most people, the immersion at the end of the Durga Puja festival is like parting with a member of the family after five days of praying, feasting and merry-making at the marquees/pandals/mandops across the city that housed the idols.

Married women engage in 'Sindoor Khela' (literally, Vermilion game)... by applying vermilion on each other's foreheads. After/before the 'bisorjon', married women take part in the 'sindoor khela'... by doing the 'arati' and saluting the goddess with vermilion (on her head and forehead), betel leaf and sweets (to her lips). They then wipe the devi's eyes... as one wipes off one's tears when leaving the place of a loved one. This event is called the "Durga Baran". The women then smear each other with vermilion. It is (or used to be) a Bengali custom for married women to apply sindoor on each other when one of them was leaving; the Devi is bid farewell the same way. So, before "Ma" leaves, married women of all age groups visit the nearby pandal to take part in this emotional ritual where vermilion (sindoor), is applied on the parting-line of each other's hair (also called 'mang'). The 'loha' (the metal and gold bracelet given to the bride by the mother-in-law) and 'pala'/'sannbha' (the red and white bangles worn by many married Bengali women) are also touched with the sindoor (this is called 'touching the loha'). Then sindoor is applied by the women and the priest on the forehead of the goddess. As per bengali custom, a mother-in-law gives an iron bangle interlaced with gold or silver to a new bride as the first gift, a token of 'suhag', which the daughter-in-law wears all her life. The ritual of applying sindoor can also take place at home when Bijoya Dashami is celebrated with family members.

Thereafter, the idols are carried in a procession known as 'Bhashan Jatra' or 'Bisorjon Jatra' around the 'para' or 'locality'... amid hollering crowds and the frenzied beating of drums/dhaks... and is finally immersed in a nearby river, pond or lake. Emotionally-charged chants (in Bengali) of "Hail the mother goddess! She'll return next year!" reverberate across the place of immersion and indeed across entire localities. In Orissa, after the immersion of the idols, people across the state celebrate "Ravan Podi" (burning of a huge effigy of the rakshasa king Ravana). Here is a YouTube video of 'Durga Puja Sindoor Khela and Bisarjon': Link.

After the immersion ceremony, Bengalis visit each others homes to wish their loved ones "Shubho Bijoya". The children touch the feet of their elders (pronam) as an expression of respect towards them. Similarly, adults embrace each other with heartfelt good wishes, which in Bengali is known as 'Kolakuli'. It is a time to visit friends, neighbours, relatives and loved ones and offer sweets and other delicious eatables to each other. This is a celebration of the 'triumph of good over evil' as well as a gesture/wish that may the coming year be sweet and prosperous for everyone. It is a time for family reunions, to renew kinship with friends and relatives amid much laughter and 'adda'... to the accompaniment of delicious food, of course!

For these five days of the pujas... 'pandal hopping' is a major activity/attraction. It involves visiting as many pujas as possible along with family and friends. Plus eating the delicious food sold at the various stalls erected there. Even the 'bhog' (the prasad) is much sought after. It consistes of khichuri (khichdi) along with a curry (usually a potato curry or a mixed vegetable curry), tomato chutney or pineapple chutney and sweets (usually melt-in-the-mouth rosogollas). Ummm... I am beginning to feel hungry, already!

I too went 'pandal hopping' on 'ashtami' (the 8th day) and 'nabami' (the 9th day). This time there were 38 pandals celebrating the Durga puja throughout Bangalore. But more importantly, this is the 60th year of the Durga Puja celebrations in Bangalore. I went to the Bengali Association (Ulsoor) puja at the RBANMS grounds... on 'ashtami' (it was the 50th year of the pujas here... the golden jubilee celebrations... quite a landmark! They incidently hold the biggest puja in Bangalore...) and to the 'Jayamahal Sarbojonin Durga Puja' at Jayamahal (it is 54 years and counting... the 2nd biggest puja in Bangalore, you'd never want to miss it... here is their blog), the one at Sanjay Nagar (Antaranga Bengali Cultural Association) and finally the puja at R.T. Nagar on 'nabami'. It was a wonderful and memorable experience. I'll cherish it for a long, long time. The folks at the Sanjay Nagar puja... offered us 'prasad'... consisting of fruits and 'narkel nadu'... the super delicious, mouth watering and my all time favourite sweet/laddu made of coconut gratings and jaggery! I will surely visit that pandal again next year. Can't wait for the pujas to commence again!!! Plus a wonderful friend blogger or FB, the Indian Pundit has uploaded a lot of pics of the pujas in faraway Kolkata. It was great to view the pujas from the bengali heartland... sitting thousands of miles away. You can view the pics here and here.

Another attraction for me to visit the Ulsoor Bengali Association puja... is the 'Kolkata Book Fair' held there. This fair is actually a temporary book shop... set up exclusively for these 4-5 days of the pujas... every year. And a great source for buying books written by popular bengali authors... since bengali books are hard to come by... in Bangal-ore/Bengal-uru. In 2007, I had bought 45 books, last year the number was 35 and this year... try as I might... I could not beat the 2007 figure. I ended up buying 'only' 35 books this time too. I was intending to score a half century... ! Sigh!

With the immersions, Goddess Durga and her children depart, leaving the devotees with memories of five fun-filled days and a yearning for next year's festivities. They say, 'time flies'. Therefore... "Asche bochchor aabar hobe"... ! Meaning: "Hail the mother goddess! She'll return next year!" Goddess Durga will be back next year, of course. But Durga is just one manifestation of 'Shakti', the consort of Lord Shiva. Shakti will be back as "Ma Kali" in about 20 days' time. Kali puja occurs during Diwali (the festival of lights). I have just found out about a place/organisation called the 'Bangalore Kalibadi' and I intend to go there during the Kali puja... in barely 2 weeks' time. And kojagori Lakshmi puja - the worship of Goddess Lakshmi on Kojagori Full Moon Night (Amavasya) - begins in barely 5 days time... therefore... it is "baro mashe tero parbon"... !!! This is a popular bengali saying/proverb, which literally translates as: In twelve months, thirteen festivals... i.e., we have 13 festivals in 12 months. Meaning: A superabundance of occasions for celebration(s)... !!!

Shubho Bijoya, everybody! May the goddess shower her choicest blessings on you and your family!



Note: Some info gathered, courtesy: Wikipedia.

'Kojagori': the term literally means "who is awake" and devotees are not supposed to sleep.

Photographs:

1. A painting of Goddess Durga. (Pic courtesy: http://www.kolkatabeckons.com)

2. Kash Phool (Pic Courtesy: http://www.oktatabyebye.com/picture-gallery/4506-kolkata-travel-photo.html)

3. Shiuli phool - These flowers mark the arrival of Autumn and Durga puja. They have a mild fragrance and are white in colour with an orange stalk... and bloom in the months of Sept.-Oct. The flowers bloom in the wee hours of the morning and spread their heady fragrance everywhere. They fall from the trees due to the dew drops at dawn. People usually pick them up from the ground, place them in bowls and keep indoors... to have that lovely fragrance in their homes. (Courtesy: http://calcuttanow.blogspot.com/2009/09/shiuli-flower.html)