Suppandispeak!!!

To Suppandi.....again!! Please visit my earlier blogs "Tales of "Suppandi" - the lovable buffoon." and "The tales of "Suppandi" continues." to get to know him better and read about some of his 'adventures.'

Here are some 'gems' from Suppandi...........

1) Suppandi says, "My mind works like lightning......one brilliant flash and it is gone!!"

2) Suppandi said, "Take my advice; I don't use it anyway!" :D

3) Suppandi said, "When you laugh, the world laughs with you; when you snore, you sleep alone." :)

4) "My friend is writing a novel.......wonder why he can't buy one from the market!" Tap tap tap.......(Suppandi is tapping his head, wondering......)

5) "Why do bagpipers walk when they play?"........"They’re trying to get away from the noise," replied Suppandi.

6) Suppandi said, "Wrote my exam at the doorstep. Hopefully I'll get through my 'entrance' exam this time!"

7) Suppandi said, "The Doc told me that these tablets have side effects......am cutting the sides off right now!!"

8) "Why don't you lend your wisdom tooth to me for a few days? Need it badly"......said Suppandi.

9) "I have been asked to keep an eye on the boiling milk.......any suggestions on what I can do with my other eye till then??!"........asked Suppandi.

10) "Mom is shouting at me :( How to make her understand that I didn't spend all day talking on the phone, most of the time I was only listening!"..........exclaimed Suppandi sadly.

11) "What do you call two banana peals?".............."A pair of slippers," said Suppandi :)

12) Suppandi is very upset because the radio stopped playing. Then he dismantled it and found two cockroaches inside, and realized that the singers were dead!

13) Suppandi is wondering why his Mom felt that the shopkeeper could pull the wool over his eyes.......he will definitely shut his eyes when he reaches the shop!

14) Suppandi is sure that the guy was mistaken, when the guy said that he has seen his (Suppandi's) face somewhere.......Suppandi would never let his face go anywhere!

15) Suppandi's friend drowned in a bowl of muesli.............He was pulled in by a strong currant!

16) Suppandi fought with the shopkeeper for not giving the 'fat free' with the oil!

17) "Suppandi, what do you call a fish with no eyes?".........."A fsh," replied Suppandi!

18) Suppandi went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day.........but could not find any.

19) "Those of you who are going to drink 'to forget,'...........please pay in advance".....said Suppandi.

20) Suppandi's friend's wife told him she believes in, "If the shoe fits, buy it in every colour!"..........Is it because of Holi??? wondered Suppandi.

21) Suppandi was wondering: Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"??!

22) Suppandi said, "At 70, my grandfather doesn't need glasses........he drinks straight from the bottle."

23) Suppandi buried the phone in the garden because it was dead......."gotta buy a new live one," he thought to himself!!

24) Suppandi is very confused about how one can have 'smelly feet' and 'running noses'!! Strange are the ways of the world........

25) Suppandi wants to be no. 6 when he grows up........he is sure he could make people smile!

26) Suppandi is trying to find a 'National flag' with different colour combinations!!!

27) Suppandi has been standing in the Sun for the past half an hour.......trying to dry his sweat! Just doesn't seem to work :(

28) Suppandi says, "What's the big deal if I made holes in the umbrella? I just wanted to be sure about when it stopped raining!"

29) Suppandi kept going out to check the letter box to see if he had received any letters, but finally gave up when he realized that his PC was lying. It went on saying "You've got mail."

30) Someone asked, "Did you hear about the two guys who stole everything from a house except the soap and towels?"............."They must be pair of dirty crooks,".........remarked Suppandi.

31) Suppandi likes eating vada..........the bonda with a hole!

32) Suppandi realized that it is easier to make a resolution than to keep one!

33) Suppandi's New Year resolution is to be less forgetful this year, than he was last year.

34) Suppandi is hoping that no one will remember that he had shouted "Happy Birthday" by mistake when the clock struck 12 (midnight) on New Year's Eve!

35) Suppandi is washing clothes. The instructions say that the detergent has to be dissolved in half a bucket of water, so he is cutting the bucket into half!

36) Suppandi said, "My Uncle told me that the price of newspapers will be going up from tomorrow........so, I bought ten copies of today's paper. How smart, na?!!"

37) Suppandi said, "Mom didn't want any leaves strewn in the balcony, so I plucked them all out from the plants. I don't know why she was angry later." :(

38) Suppandi went shopping the whole of last night. His friends had warned him that the rates are very high and the shopkeepers commit daylight robbery.

39) Suppandi - the genius - defines the word 'Doctor': "A doctor is a person who kills your ills by his pills, and kills you by his bills." :)

40) Suppandi said, "Mom told me to get a 40 and a 60 watt bulb. She was testing my maths! But I'm smart! I added 60 and 40 and got a 100 watt bulb instead!!!

41) Suppani was wondering, "And I thought the kid was quite ambitious.......wonder why his
teacher failed him........"

42) Suppandi got an electric shock after he read the book, "5 Philosophers Who Shocked the World."

43) Suppandi was thinking, "Love these sandals.......wonder why my friend Shambu ran away the moment he saw the first one........."

44) Suppandi was asked, "What would Dharmendra say to Hema Malini if he wanted her to call him up?"........ Suppandi replied, "Ring De Basanti!!"

45) Suppandi's friend told him, "My wife has learned the art of tackling my short term memory loss post Ghajini! .........Scribbled on my chest is Wife's birthday, 22nd - get groceries......etc."

Photograph: Suppandi - an image from "Tinkle."