Friday, November 9, 2012

The 'Rethdootam': An Ode to Jam Rethmalani and ilk.

There is a popular joke that goes like this:

Question: Kalidas ka ek bhai joote banata tha. Uska naam kya tha?

Answer: Adidas.

Kalidas (Kālidāsa), as we know is considered to be one of the greatest Sanskrit poets. He penned the 'Meghdoot' (Meghadūta) or the 'Meghdootam'. 

[Meghdoot means: the Cloud Messenger; Megh = Cloud, Doot = Messenger.]

However, off late his seminal work is facing a tent-tative challenge from an even bigger seminarian work: the 'Rethdootam'.

[Rethdootam or Rethdoot means: the Sand Messenger. Reth = Sand, Doot = Messenger.]

Therefore: Move over Kalidas, this 'doot' of sundry desert-sand-and-desert-winds (and their backers and chela-s) rule the airwaves and the reams of print.

To the hapless rainforest: My sincerest apologies.

One may ask: Has Jam Rethmalani been ingesting too much hing lately... or is it some sandy desert wind whispering in his ears?

Umm, here's the answer:

Rethmalani - the greatest liar-liar - that defends a-b-c-D-e-f-g-h, is now trying to show his loyalty towards Swami Vivekananda... while blithely trashing Shri Ram!!

What next:

Guess we now
have to brace for wheelchair activist, Ms. De-lite, namesake of river (working under the garb of innocent NGO), certain ace journalists (the usual suspects), curly-haired-activist-cum-award-winning-author et al - to join in, in this 'script-reading' session, soon.

Instead of naming missiles after Afghan heroes, certain entities (of a certain nation of course) should start naming them after these above-mentioned characters, to commemorate their services rendered. Moon-bucks rule! :)

With such wheelchair-revolutionaries, prolific authors, crusading activists, well-meaning journalists and Rethmalani-type 'doot' - of sundry desert winds, India does not need 'friends', what? :)

Wonder who has launched these hot-air missiles now, and what is the agenda?

... And to think that we only consider the dragon to be our enemy. Ha!

Not that there is no such thing as dragon-bucks. 'Coz without that, it would be tough for certain authors and charitable folks to maintain their hemoglobin levels. And as you know: health is wealth.

Umm, given that we are a 'free' nation with no sign of moon-bucks-nourished media, showbiz, sundry 'doots', it is a small wonder that our ancient texts and heroes/heroines have been twisted and are shown in such a sad light. Their glorious legacies and all that they have done have been washed away under a tidal wave of 'books' penned by phoren authors and (constant) blistering sandy blizzards. It is also no wonder that they are (not only) ceaselessly demeaned, but have been turned into protagonist/lead characters of lewd jokes, strange epithets, et al. All nicely camouflaged in the garb of 'entertainment'! Scholarly 'doots' chip in too, their valuable contributions cannot and should not be ignored. :)

No smoke without fire? 

Well, Rethmalani and ilk are those dhuandhar batsmen.

Jam Rethmalani is our version of Comrade Bariq Ali, 'HMV'.

Parting shot: Jammy, jinke ghar lies-damn-lies-aur-statistics ke hon, woh dusron per damn-lies nahin phenka karte...

Note: Any resemblance to tics and locusts (in human-form) - is purely coincidentally coincidental.

Picture: Courtesy: link.

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