Friday, July 6, 2012

Whither Debhelopment?

There's a game of 'catch me if you can' and a game of 'snakes and ladders' - being played. But no Vampires are being slayed. Real 'snakes' and not the Bengali ones re Baba! Arre, Bengalis pronounce 'snacks' as 'snakes', understood? That's called courting food.

Get used to Benglish, it may soon take up residence in Delhi's swankiest house. Then we may as well have a game of 'cat and mouse'. But whatever the game, Hilsa (ilish maach) will fly business class, and the prawn (chingri maach) - will have to learn new lessons in 'simple living high thinking'.

Think, thank, thunk, anyone?! Wren & Martin - no fun!

Martini - is better, whether shaken or stirred. Never mind if the fans whirred. Load shedding is an integral part of the economy. Not Egyptian Mummy. And the latter may now sprout beards too. Thanks to youknowwho. No dictation. Syrious action.

War on Terror. Immaculate deception.

The Lord of the right path is a casteist. Sushi Tandoor is a cattleist.

Jagan Magan Jaguarnaut. Tatrapack. Thunderbird. Speaktinot.

Raja. Band Baaja. Adarsh solution. Jai Agnidev.

Vande maataraM
sujalaaM suphalaaM malayaja shiitalaaM
SasyashyaamalaaM maataram ||

ShubhrajyotsnaaM pulakitayaaminiiM
pullakusumita drumadala shobhiniiM
suhaasiniiM sumadhura bhaashhiNiiM
sukhadaaM varadaaM maataraM ||

Here: Files undergo Agni ParikshaM. And Flies make merry maataraM.

Koti koti kantha kalakalaninaada karaale
koti koti bhujai.rdhR^itakharakaravaale
abalaa keno maa eto bale
bahubaladhaariNiiM namaami taariNiiM
ripudalavaariNiiM maataraM ||

Here: the CM of India reports to the PM of Kolkata. And bow to Vande MataRome.

... But not to worry, that's pat-riotism. Distilled through a prism.

VIBGYOR anyone?

No takers. God particle, holding everyone in its thrall!

All the excitement may lead to myocardial infraction. But that'll mean, no more mass, matter and particle. Direct God. Higgs-Boson.

Heye Bhagawan! Didi won't be pleased.

Boson = Bose = Basu = Enlightened Bengali = Jyoti Basu.

Jyoti Basu = good sleep = no jackals and foxes = angry Maneka Gandhi = environmental disaster.

You get the picture?!

No Bijli = slowdown of economy. Babu-jis also not dheere chalo-ing = population explosion.

What use Higgs-Boson?!

However, the Bose behind the Higgs-Boson is our bheree own Satyendra Nath Bose. He is also the Bose behind the Bose-Einstein Condensate.

Yet, the Nobel-men awarded the medal only to Einstein. Not fine. Bose was overlooked - due to colour of skin. No 'Change we can believe in'.

He did not qualify for the Bharat Ratna either. Lack of: Amulya Butter.

But do spare a thought for the decline of the Boses, God's favourite community. From Acharya Jagadish Chandra Bose, Biplobi Rashbehari Bose, Netaji Subhash Chandra Bose, Biplobi Khudiram Bose, and the great Satyendra Nath Bose ... to Rahul Bose.

Sigh. Apshosh.

Elsewhere, looks like: Didi has been looking for Debhelopment. Maybe the CBI should be tasked with prompt recovery of whomever that has eloped.

Perhaps coalition dharma is preventing it.

Hmm. No wonder even Dimsum Yadav had to be given a walkover. Bahu had to be accommodated ... for the sake of Bahumat.

Coalition dharma means no collision. Only some mad hatters talk of "The Large Hadron Collision". Clones of Professor Calculus, I tell you. Full of fuss and what have you.

Now, Didi may decide to insert an ad in telibhisons and newj pyapars: Debhelopment, if you have got engaged or even married, come back immediately. Two pairs of brand new choppols are waiting for you.

But Debhelopment is proving to be quite Dabaang. It has decided to migraine to Gujarat. Wonder who lost his shirt?!

What'll happen to the haath - in future. Nature cure. Just conjecture.

Haathi and cycle fought ... and the cycle won. That's evolution.

And in India at least - the Mayan Civilization came to an end. What will happen going forward? I'm no soothsayer, my friend!

But lotus is busy eating itself. Ghor Kaliyug, I tell you. Even lotus has turned U.

Move over particle, nano is costlier. Hear, Hear. King Lear.

Laasht chance: Debhelopment come back ASAP. Otherwise Didi will bhack you with her choppol.

Still no response! Lets see what Khan Dada can do. Pancha Pandu.

Pronob-da and Sang-ma: Bhodrolok vs Tribal.

Srsstti-Sthiti-Vinaashaanaam Shakti-Bhuute Sanaatani | In the shape of Amma, Behen-ji and Didi.

Gunna-[A]ashraye Gunnamaye Naaraayanni Namo[ah-A]stu Te ||9||

Meanwhile, Khan Dada has been making saccharine-laced appearances with the missus. So perhaps we can safely conclude that PC has been booted, err rebooted.

But he made such a song and dance about KKR's IPL win! Even after all the matches and the celebrations - had been telecast live. No high five.

Front-page ad in the Dimes of India: to inform all and sundry no doubt. But hopefully messengers were dispatched to Andromeda and other parts of the Milky Way too. Woo-Hoo! After all, all's well that ends in a well!

But wondering why NASDAQ did not reflect it?! Epic fail.

We have recently learnt that toilets are an integral part of a shining economy. But who gets to see the full Monty?

The taxpayers? The investors? The FDIs? Or the Starbucks??

And what about the Moonbucks then?? Security is chicken.

Stock market is chicken stew. Does it sound like French, Latin or Hebrew?

Conclusion: Debhelopment is a Greek tragedy. *Sniff*

Photograph: Pic. courtesy: Link. [All in good humour, I assure you.]


  1. If one was to read the latest issue of TIME,one would know eaxctly where have things gone wrong

  2. @ BK Chowla: :) And Time and Tide wait for none!