Just-Tease... !!!

Author's note: Do read "An Ode to... One year of UPA-II...!!!";
"Demo-crazy... !!!";
"One year ago/ UP, UP and (UP)AWAY... UPA Aala Re... !!!" and "One year ago/ Poll-i-nation... !!!"

First of all... let me wish you all a Shubho Biyoja! Also... best wishes on the occasion of Kojagori Lokkhi Puja.

Its been about a week after the Commonwealth Games (CWG)... but the hangover persists... for many. The CWG was truly spectacular and memorable. Especially for the Dilliwallahs. Simply for their 'life-altering' experiences. The 'garrulous' Dilliwallahs were required to become 'Zen Masters'... practically overnight. Courtesy the new traffic rules. And Dilli is 'famous' for the choicest words, phrases and epithets that folks hurl at each other... while (un)comfortably seated on their 2/3/4/6 wheelers or even while traveling via number 11. But due to the advent of CWG... the traffic situation was totally fun. Half the roads were closed down for the 'delegate movement'. So, the Dilliwallahs had only half the roads for 'free movement'. If you want to know what all that led to... read "Dilli Chalo!" by Preeti of "The Other Side of Life" fame. It is a must read.

Now to get back to my post. This was drafted before the CWG but thanks to the shenanigans of the net connection... it had not seen the light of day. Till now...

The state of the nation. 'Pollination'. A flood of tears... plus the bears. Makes for Uncommon wealth. A blow it has dealth... to our prestige and health. Lifebuoy soap... provides no hope. The virus is virulent... nothing can cause a dent. Work so shoddy... swalpa adjust (kal)madi. Common 'Wealth'... is just a game. Hee hee... no shame. There's a silver lining... so stop whining. Of medals... India will have a windfall. And stand tall. You see... others will pull out. Such louts! No 'atithi devo bhavo'... Bravo! Bravo! Security and quality. Two hoot. What to do? PC needs to reboot.

Dabangg rules while SRK cools. Perfection drools. Big Bee... Que Sera Sera. Whatever Will Be, Will Be. After Raavan... little Bee is flooded... with tweets. So sweet! Very hot... bring on the 'Robot'. Move over aviators and avatars... its time for (the darshan of) Lord Rajanikanth. Shant! Shant! Hurricane Kat is out of action. Diction, diction. 'Hum' once again. What a pain. Zandu balm... and all is calm. Including Sallu... letting off steam and ash. Bash! Don't worry. No Thank you... no Sorry. Horn OK please. Attention... Stand at ease. Drive Saifly. Deftly.

Prices and inflation. Catch me if you can. Usain Bolt... where are you? Et tu?

Big deal. Six appeal! Bajji pao. Zen and Tao. Vastu and Tai Chi. Easy, easy. Deception. Much needed 'Inception'. DiCaprio... jaldi aao. Lo mein aa gaya(ram). Aayaram. Paisa. Planning ho toh aisa! Prime mini-stars. Cheap mini-stars. Bihar polls. For whom the bell tolls. Kar-'nataka'. Jataka tales. The great Indian circus. Hocus pocus. The show must go on. Blog-a-ton. Coffee with Tolstoy. Oh Boy! Our daily bread. Dread. Couture and Haute. Fad for thought.

Population. Pollution. Inflation. Corruption. Red Tape. Khap. Prices. Naxals. Kashmir. Fancy dress. Body double. Double trouble. Under the rubble. Delays. Relays. Hunger. Poverty. Action. Inaction. Illiteracy. Infrastructure fallacy. Photostat. Aerostat. Just words, I say! The netas will once again wish us all a very Happy Independence day. Truly free. Duty free.

What say? Aap kataar mein hai... Hail the new bookie. Rookie. The new Oracle. Lock, stock and barrel. Paul the Octopus! Hush! Hush!

Rising son. Waiting for your decision O Great One!!

Migratory birds. Seasonal flowers. Hussey to phasee. Take it easy policy. Sholay. Action Replay. Common'wealth' games it is. 'Achieved' after massacring innumerable trees. Roadies. Toadies. Baggage. Garbage. Rubble and stink. Water water everywhere, not a drop to drink.

Culture. Vulture. Lal batti. Dimaag ki batti jala de. Shobha De. No rice, no wheat. Tweet. While the sun shines, make hay! Others bray. Khel khel mein! H1N1. No tension. Bird flu. Dengue. Malaria. Chikungunia. Earlier Sania. Now Saina. Gravy train. Brain drain. Shahi chikan curry. Hurry Burry. For big O Barry. Dogs on the beds. No rolling heads. Animal rights you see. Instant fantasy. Paan stains. Overflowing drains. Kahaani road road ki! Chunkey Monkey. Tenders and License. Awkward silence. For friends and ally... Jam and jelly. Rest? Empty belly. Mosquitoes. Quit India. You have no place here. Matter finished. Hot Bods. Modern Gods. 5 year plan. Best fiction. All talk and no action. Rain, Rain... don't go to Spain.

Beefed up security. Muttoned up security. Chickened out. Pout. Court. On dot. Therez more than 'meats' the eye. Don't be shy. Hit wicket. Thats not cricket! IPL... twist in the tale. Brett Lee. Garam garam sambar mein doob idly!

Kabab mein haddi? Full support... for our national sport. Kabaddi.

(Un)common sense! Sitting on the fence. Nation's image. Taxing job. Consensus. Autonomy minus us. Important issues? TRP rules. Public opinion. Publicised opinion. Eye for an eye. Leg bye. Dive. Chicken 65.

Shera. Jal Jeera. The real mascot. Bowled but not caught! 101 medals... not cool. Poly-tricks rule.

Bangalored. Buffaloed. Knowledge process outsourcing... KPO silly. Dilly dally. Job security. Popular ditty. Barry is afraid of getting am-Bushed. Afraid of his job getting outsourced by Republicans. Ten on Ten. No pain, no gain. Family matters. Tatters. Indo-Pak. Separated at birth. China. Hyena. Just-Tease. High fees. Woh Kisna hai re baba. Sabse bada rupaiyaa! Bhaiyaa. Lo mein aa gaya! Jor ka jhatka... dheere se lage. Dekho... kya hota hai aage aage.

Ratan ka Tata. Birla Birla. Modi-fied with Aam(money). Add a dash of Vedanta. Plus UPA-nishad. Not bad at all. Just-Tease. Pure bliss. Borderline Nirvana. Zulu fever. Vuvuzela.

Note: The views expressed here are entirely in good humour and without malice.

Cartoons courtesy: http://blogs.hindustantimes.com/dabs-and-jabs/2010/10/15/show-must-go-on/.

Photograph:

Hilarious takes on the state of the nation - in India.