'Chicken-hearted'... ??? Cluck! Cluck!!

Last sunday, I was browsing through the news on yahoo and chanced upon an 'interesting' one... about 'unmarried chickens'! Let me share the link and the 'news' here.

Link: http://in.news.yahoo.com/139/20090510/959/tod-the-restaurant-that-serves-only-unma.html

The restaurant that serves only 'unmarried chickens'! A restaurant in China is doing brisk business after it claimed that it serves only 'virgin' chickens.

The "Tanniu Unmarried Chicken Restaurant" is located in Haikou, capital of Hainan province, reports The China Daily.

And Fu Chuanhai the owner of the eatery said he raises hens selected soon after they're born on a special farm.

He even swears that his hens have never ever 'flirted' with a rooster, and that his restaurant has remained popular since he opened it four years ago.

Such 'saintly' chickens!!! Ummm... perhaps the flamboyant and billionaire chairman of the Virgin Group (the Virgin Atlantic Airways, Virgin Mobile, Virgin Blue, Virgin Galactic, Virgin Fuels, Virgin Media, Virgin Comics, Virgin Health Bank, Virgin Money and the Virgin Records music label - later Virgin Megastores - among others)... the redoubtable Sir Richard Branson might want to do business with the owner of these 'virgin' chickens... after all "Birds of a feather flock together"!!! And then we will also have our own 'desi' Branson... a certain high flying, IPL team owning, the 'King of Good Times'... following suit... to reinforce the words of the great English poet Percy Bysshe Shelley, "If Winter comes, can Spring be far behind?"

Chickmate!!! What say?!!

A couple of weeks or so ago, the media reported that someone had thrown a packet of 'chicken biryani' at some 'neta'... of course it did not hit and no harm was done to the 'neta'. Now, wait a minute! Since, chicken biryani - otherwise a delectable dish - contains cooked chicken, I assume that the chicken in it had left this mortal world to meet its 'maker' by about 2-3 days... and perhaps had taken rebirth in another form already... based on its 'karma' in its previous (chicken) birth!!! And could not 'fly' on its own. Therefore, it is obvious that the 'chicken' (in the biriyani) would never have done the stunt (read: fly) willingly. So, the next time anyone wishes to protest on behalf of a chicken, or worse... make a chicken protest on behalf of them... I suggest he/she ask the chicken first. After all, they too have some human... errrr 'chicken rights' and that should not be violated!!!

Tough life... being a 'chicken'... Sigh!! Ever since their 'flying' genes (H5N1 Bird flu) jumped the species barrier to pigs (A/H1N1 Swine flu), these poor souls are under intense pressure and facing stiff challenge at their "annual flying competition"... from their fellow 'fauna'... the swines, ok pigs... Alright! Alright! Country cousins of 'Babe'... !!! Hey, hang on... did I hear Oink! Oink!

A piece of advice to all the 'swines'... umm to all the country cousins of 'Babe'... don't reveal your identity on 'Facebook' or 'Twitter'... the number of hits may decrease and Facebook may cancel your account while Twitter may suspend it due to 'suspicious activity'!!! After all 'Twitter' is helmed by a little blue 'bird'... which 'flu'(ew) once and may not want to do so again!!!

A while back, I watched an episode of "The Week That Wasn't" - a news satire show hosted by Cyrus Broacha with his immaculate comic timing on CNN-IBN. He pretended to be a news anchor while Kunal Vijayakar, the incorrigible foodie who hosts the show 'The Foodie' on Times Now, 'acted' as a 'neta'/'minister'. Cyrus asked the 'minister', "What are you doing to stop the 'bird flu'?" The response was, "What are you talking about? How can anyone stop a bird from flying. You see, every bird has wings and therefore it 'flu'(ew)"!!! Or something to that effect. Quite innovative... What??

Note: Information gathered courtesy http://in.news.yahoo.com, dated May 10, 2009 and Wikipedia.
The line, "If Winter comes, can Spring be far behind?" (is taken from Percy Bysshe Shelley's poem, "Ode to the West Wind")

Cyrus Broacha anchors a news satire show, "The Week That Wasn't", co-written and directed by friend Kunal Vijayakar. Cyrus Broacha and a team of fake correspondents and guests, comment on stories, employing actual news footage, taped field pieces, in-studio guests and on-the-spot coverage of important news events. The show reports on the quirks of the real world with a satirical edge while lampooning everything from politics to film. Here is the link which contains the videos of quite a few episodes: http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=Cyrus+Broacha+CNN+IBN+The+Week+that+Wasn%27t&search=related&v=YIVtNCGiZBo&page=1

Photographs: (in clockwise order)

1. A cartoon of a hen.

2. A comic strip depicting a hilarious scenario created due to the "Swine flu". Comic strip courtesy: http://cartoonistsatish.blogspot.com