Saturday, October 30, 2010

GPRS ko Tata. 3G? Buy. Buy.

This is a post for the 3G Life Blogger Contest powered by NTT DoCoMo at IndiBlogger.

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Before I begin... let me tell you that this is my 150th post. Yayyy!!! *Applause! Applause* (I'm taking a bow... displaying all my pearly whites)

3G is something I want, and I hope that I will become the proud owner of a
3G from Tata DoCoMo very soon. No neighbour's envy owners pride involved here. Until now BSNL and MTNL were the two players... providing 3rd generation life. Now Tata DoCoMo is all set and good to go. High five!

Now for the post...

Ratan ka Tata and DoCoMo make for a dream team. No past tense. Do more every second. Commit more. Communicate more. Just walk the talk. More the merrier! 3G will spice up your life. Not aam-money. You can rely on it. The buzz is in the air... you can tell. Does it ring a bell??

Video Calling. Live TV. High Speed Internet. Gaming. Movies. Music. Masti. And much more. Are in store. Birthdays. Weddings. Academics. Picnic. Just enjoy... no panic. Reminders and dates. Make no haste. For babies, kids and the elderly. Also the scholarly. Shrinking playgrounds? No problem. With technology at the helm. Cricket, football and Saina's matches. Plus the missed catches. Can be watched leisurely. No hurry. Tendulkar's century. Why hurry burry? Baby's smile, first tooth, first walk and sound. Lets not be pennywise and foolish about the pound. Calls and meeting. And no eating. Makes for poor health. And we know 'Health is wealth'. You need not worry... and please don't hurry. Video Calling and Internet. Wins the bet! Speed of download. At the speed of thought! Bulky files. Just flies. Distance makes the heart grow fonder. No longer! Video chat and video calls. Just a screen away folks! Clarity? You just have to experience it! Video streaming capability? Faster. After all, speed does matter. It makes phones smarter. And the user too. I tell you! Affordable and user friendly. Jolly! Kill 'bill'. Jack and Jill went up the hill.

Office on the go. Just get, set, go. Carry your office... in your pocket. This is the age of jets and rockets! Bandwidth is not an issue. Don't pass on the tissue. For presentations and reports. You have all the support. Update the power point on the go. What you reap is what you sow. Desktop applications... pose no problem. Any more. Use your office computer... remotely via your cell-phone. Just skills you got to hone. Work in your pajamas. From home. Virtual office. Not virtual salary. So, don't you worry. Video conferences and meetings. At your fingertips. No long hours at office. Cuts down on travel too. I tell you. Less pollution, noise and smoke. No joke. Environment friendly too. Even though trees cannot sue. Multitasking is easy. Time management is the key. Says the little bee. And time IS money. Honey. Projects, egg-jams... no problem. With 3G we may stop 'eating' tigers and switch to Parle - G!! After all... G maane genius hai ji!

Missed serials, comedy and reality shows. Worry not. Its just KBC. Kaun Banega 3G-pati? News, views and interviews. Catch them too. Usain Bolt where art thou? Et tu? YouTube videos and uploading. No more 'loadshedding'! With better camera capabilities... the sky is the limit. Just go Click! Click! Click! Citizen Reporters. Ho jao taiyar. Whistleblowers. Wage your battles and fight the war. Big bee and little bee... will sting! 3G will result in changed manifestos. With the netas promising us 'food, clothing, shelter and 3G'. Haan ji!

Your ailing granny or best friend... cannot attend your wedding? 3G to the rescue. Video call and podcasting. Has never been this simple. You can sport a dimple. Your spouse can't accompany you on a sightseeing tour? Or you missed your kids' graduation? No tension. Your parents missed out on your baby's 'annaprasan'? Or they haven't seen their grandchild yet? You missed your parents' anniversary? Don't be sorry. Everything can be shared live and saved for posterity! You can do more and more... with 3G DoCoMore!

Be slim and trim. KISS. I mean... Keep it Short and Simple! Use Diet SMS. Shrtr is Smrtr. Pay per character. And walk on water. Love just one thing? Pay only for what you love. By Jove! Roaming. Why be a tourist in your own country? There should be value for money. Buddynet. Strange! Why let distances come between friends? Full on Boll. Won't burn a hole. Have a tale to tell? Use Voicemail. Drive saifly. Deftly. Flaunt your six pack. Pay per pack! DO COmmit MOtivate. That's just Perfect!

Blog and socialize in the virtual world. That's a worry for Orkut, Facebook and the little blue bird. Happy news, for the occupants of bloggersville, but. Farmville lovers aka virtual farmers. Will reap a bumper harvest... for starters. It's so swift. 3G is the best Diwali gift! Print your pics, documents, e-mails… et al. Have a ball! Mobile office and MobileBlogging are a possibility. Popular ditty. Birds of a feather flock together. Knowledge and info they share and gather. Who moved my cheese? Bell the CAT. Offload useless info... from your inbuilt hard disk. Your mind silly! Learn to unlearn. Celebrate, worship and pray. Together... I say! Acquire knowledge on the go. No lines you need to toe. Catch movies you missed. Don't be pissed. Download. Upload. Go down memory lane. Nostalgia is priceless! It's all about being 'priceless' or 'valueless'. That's the difference between 3G and the rest! Anytime is 3G time. Minus the whine. Read books and magazines. Newspapers and weather reports. Go on a virtual tour. Read recipes for 'pet-pooja'. Get maps. And cartoons too. Chota Bheem, Tom and Jerry, Mr. Bean. And more. Much more. Book tickets, get forms, go banking, invest, buy stuff and sell too. Chutki mein! There is nothing to stop you! E-commerce and Cloud Computing will be easy. With 3G. GPRS ko Tata. 3G? Buy. Buy.

Everything can happen with 3G Aaj Kal. 3G provides a whole new world. 3G makes a world of difference. Gives quality of life a whole new meaning. This is no preening. It opens a world of possibilities. Impossible doesn't exist. Be smart. Don't be an old fart. Go 3G! Abhi.

Feature of the future: 4G/5G/6G or 7G/8G/9G (??)

3G is just work-in-progress. There will be more to come... that will even offer us an opportunity to peep into our 'past'... and our 'future'. Our 'previous life' and 'next incarnation' that is. It will offer the 'time travel' option... which will include an insight into the mind/thoughts of people from another 'time' and era. People wouldn't be able to stop talking about them. The features, that is. All they would have to do is... plug the new, sleek and smart looking phone on to their next generation state-of-the-art home theatre... press the 'time travel' button. Choose among the: 'as a baby', 'childhood', 'young adult', 'adult life', 'young at heart'... options there. Then settle down on the beanbag/rocking chair/La-Z-Boy sofas, chairs, recliners and couches... to savor the experience. By then even the La-Z-Girl furniture would make its appearance. Even furniture believes in equal opportunity. You see! We would be able to control and direct our dreams too. DiCaprio jaldi aao! Cholbe Nano minus Zen and Tao.

Exciting isn't it?? As I said, impossible doesn't exist!

Before I end this post... here is some mind chow. They say, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away".

Lets see...

An apple a day = good health.

Good health = one tends to work more/work hard.

Work hard = one earns more money.

More money results in... buying more property, jewellery, etc.

More property, jewellery = Lokayukta raid.

Beka apple...???

P.S. I came across a flash advertisement of Tata DoCoMo while trawling the net. It is a must watch! Here are the screenshots.

P.P.S. Life is all about making every second count. Through its pioneering products and promise, Tata DoCoMo has taken this simple truth and made it its core positioning. This innovative hoarding further extends this idea through a mechanism that simulates a constantly 'ticking' digital clock. Well... 'time and tide wait for none'. Where life can change in seconds. Pay per second. The idea will surely capture the audience's attention. It is no wonder that, 'Do the New and the World will Follow'. Begin life @ 3G with Tata DoCoMo... the world leader in 3G. Wish you a very Happy Diwali in advance! Tata DoCoMo style. DoCoMore. GPRS ko Tata. 3G? Buy. Buy.


For the real answer click here. Pics courtesy: Link.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

So long, Paul.

While watching the news on NDTV yesterday... I discovered that Paul - the 'oracle extraordinaire' - who made such a splash over the summer by successfully predicting the results of the 2010 FIFA World Cup - had passed away. I guess even he didn't see that coming. But for all we know he might have. Maybe we simply didn't ask him that question...

Facts about Paul's life are hard to truly ascertain... but he was believed to have been hatched from an egg in January 2008 at the Sea Life Centre in Weymouth, Dorset, England. Of the genus Octopus vulgaris, there was nothing really vulgar about the young Paul. Infact he derived his name from the title of a poem by the German children's writer Boy Lornsen: Der Tintenfisch Paul Oktopus. Octopuses are the most intelligent of all invertebrates, so it's not a shock that Paul turned out to have such impressive skills. Or should I say talent... ?!!

Like all famous thinkers, Paul faced a backlash from irate opposition fans... unhappy at his accurate judgments. Not long ago... after Germany's heartbreaking 1-0 defeat to Spain in the 2010 FIFA World Cup semi-finals, angry German fans were calling to kill Paul, who had predicted that Spain would win their last four clash. And how right he was! Germany's heartbreak plus the Dutchmen's plight... became Spain's delight!

German fans had been praying that the two and half-year-old octopus, who was born in Britain and later moved to the German aquarium in Oberhausen, had made a mistake when he chose the Spaniards to triumph. Some sections of the crowd were also singing anti-octopus songs! Wonder what the legendary 007 aka James Bond would have thought of that. I guess he was rather fond of 'Octopussy'! Even the usually vocal and garment-challenged (ahem!) PETA activists maintained their silence. Especially the former Baywatch babe Pamela Anderson... whose heart weeps profusely at the plight of animals... at regular intervals. Necessitating an appearance and photo-shoot... clad in her 'original' designer (and gravity defying) baby suit.

The fans' frustrations spilled onto the networking sites... little blue bird included. A local newspaper reported that... there had been "a host of comments on Facebook, Twitter... suggesting Paul should be fried, barbecued or turned into a seafood salad or paella." Others wanted to throw him into the shark tank. Various Facebook statuses reported as saying, "Paul the Octopus is Sushi tomorrow morning!", "That bloody octopus should be killed, cooked and eaten...!!!!" International Relations demanded its pound of flesh too. And he became the subject of criticism from Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, who accused him of spreading "western propaganda and superstition." Zen-like and enigmatic, yet surmounting all 'odds'... Paul maintained a 100 percent record.

To his eternal credit, Paul didn't shy away from such threats and continued to make his brave predictions. He correctly identified Germany as likely too strong for Uruguay in the third place playoff, before taking on one final prediction - the final itself. He picked Spain. It would prove to be a masterstroke. After all, it was around this time that Paul faced some unlikely competition, as Singapore's own Mani, 'the psychic parakeet', reportedly correctly predicted five straight results leading up to the final. But the bird was exposed as a fraud after picking the Netherlands to win the final, leaving Paul to assume his rightful place among the animal kingdom's most revered academics. Mani has since become 'Chinta-Money'... !! *wink, wink*

After accusations of betrayal by the German newspaper Westfälische Rundschau, the Spanish prime minister José Luis Rodríguez Zapatero jokingly said he would send a team of bodyguards to protect Paul, while the environment minister Elena Espinosa said she would give Paul protection under conservation laws so that Germans do not eat him. According to DPA, local businessmen in O Carballiño, a town in Galicia, Spain, collectively raised around €30,000 as a "transfer fee" to have Paul as the main attraction of the local Festa do Polbo festival. Manuel Pazo, a fisherman and head of the local business club made assurances that Paul would be presented alive in a tank and not on the menu. Sea Life Centres rejected the offer nonetheless.

Paul even took 'difficult decisions' against Maradronacharya's side. As for England... Paul refused to be swayed by feelings of jingoistic loyalty and picked Germany to beat his native England in their World Cup second-round match. In the end, of course, Paul was right. Germany thrashed England 4-1 to advance to the next stage. Although there are of course those who might say you didn't need to be a "psychic" octopus to see that particular result coming. "He'd seen Matthew Upson enough to know how that train wreck was going to turn out," his carer reportedly noted. Plus... Paul with his excellent vision would have 'seen' Wayne Rooney's 'wayward bunnies'...

In Pics:
Paul during FIFA World Cup

Paul beat the odds during the World Cup by correctly forecasting all eight games he was asked to predict, including Germany's surprise group stage loss to Serbia and Spain's 1-0 win over the Netherlands in the final. For the prediction, two boxes were lowered into the salty soothsayer's tank, each containing a (tasty, juicy) mussel and a flag of the two opposing teams. Watched by a myriad of reporters, Paul would head to one box, wrench open the lid and gobble the tasty morsel (mussel), with the box he plumped for being deemed the likely winner.

In his short time on Planet Earth, Paul the Octopus showed that if you reach for the stars you may at least land on a mussel. Without any tussle! Paul was thrillingly decisive with his tentacles. Clearly for him the issue was never in any doubt. In many ways this (2010 FIFA World Cup) was the perfect swansong to a predictive career that took off two years earlier at Euro 2008 - his coming out party. Back then... he had correctly predicted the winner in four of Germany's six Euro 2008 matches (only erring for a group game against Croatia and the final against Spain). But Paul himself would admit he was young and naïve in those days - rather like a young Pelé in the 1956 World Cup - and it wasn't until this summer's World Cup in South Africa - effectively Paul's Mexico 1970 or maybe 'Hand of God' 1986 - that he would really make his mark on the wider world.

Fame became too much for Paul, however, who opted for retirement soon after Iker Casillas lifted the famous trophy, but could not extricate himself from the high life he now found himself in. He gorged himself on the mussels that had previously been his main 'muscle', and he became harder and harder to deal with. He turned his back on a lucrative career on the after-dinner speaking circuit, one observer may or may not have bemoaned... Tony Blair and Busharraf excluded. It was like how we imagine watching Elvis in his final years was. Eventually, such excess caught up with him, and Paul suddenly died on October 26... of natural causes. He had reached the octopus old age of two years and nine months. He left no heirs, no one to continue his predicting legacy. Euro 2012 - let alone World Cup 2014 - will be a minefield without him. Afterall, the eardrum-splitting Vuvuzela... that came a close second to the 'real' winner of the 2010 FIFA World Cup is no 'soccer sage'.

But then all may not be lost. As they say 'hope springs eternal'...

Dirty Harry, a saltwater croc who also predicted Spain would win the World Cup, only to be overshadowed by the German mystic Paul... can perhaps now claim his place under the sun. He has some exposure in politics/International Relations too. He made his choice in his enclosure in the nothern city of Darwin... and backed Julia Gillard to win the Australian election... which she did. Methodology: He snatched a chicken carcass dangling beneath a caricature of Ms Gillard. Opposition leader Tony Abbott's chicken was left hanging. Tsk! Tsk! Errr... cluck! cluck! Its a chicken's life!

It comes as no surprise then... the Asian Age headlining Paul's passing as: "Football World Cup hero, Paul the Octupus, is dead"

"Management and staff at the Oberhausen Sea Life Centre were devastated to discover that oracle octopus Paul, who achieved global renown during the recent World Cup, had passed away overnight," his aquarium (in Germany) said in a sombre statement.

"Paul amazed the world by correctly predicting the winners of all Germany's World Cup clashes, and then of the final," said Sea Life manager Stefan Porwoll.

"His success made him almost a bigger story than the World Cup itself... We had all naturally grown very fond of him and he will be sorely missed," said Porwoll.

"He appears to have passed away peacefully during the night, of natural causes, and we are consoled by the knowledge that he enjoyed a good life here and that the care provided to him by our dedicated displays team could not have been bettered."

Paul's body is now in cold storage while the aquarium decides 'how best to mark his passing'. However, Paul's fans need not despair. The aquarium has already been grooming a successor, to be named Paul like his mentor. No dynastic flavour though... mind you!

"We may decide to give Paul his own small burial plot within our grounds and erect a modest permanent shrine," said Porwoll.

"While this may seem a curious thing to do for a sea creature, Paul achieved such popularity during his short life that it may be deemed the most appropriate course of action."

This British-born aquarium dweller and oracle extraordinaire... is a 'true-blue celebrity'... I tell you. Why (?) you may ask.

Well... the hallmarks of a 'real' celebrity are: a series of scandals, controversies, conspiracy theories, paparazzi, a 'thriller' biopic, mis-quotes, wardrobe malfunctions, serial spouses (while remaining 'good friends' with the exes of course!), serial polygamy, sporting a huge rock on the ring fingure (for the female of the species... but a few 'blood diamonds' are even better), 'high' living and simple thinking attitude, being an ardent espouser and follower of 'equal' opportunity, trumpet-blowing philanthropism and above all... leaving behind a mixed legacy. Moreover... a 'real' celebrity must swear by the philosophy of 'live fast, die young and leave a good looking corpse'. Whosoever passes the 'agni pariksha' with flying colours... qualify.

In Paul's case... no sooner had death's tentacles slackened their grip on his squidgy body than the first conspiracy theory concerning his demise emerged like a cephalopod from a crevice.

Not everyone, it seems, is prepared to accept the news that the "psychic" octopus passed away on Monday (26th Oct., 2010) in the comfort of the German aquarium he called home. The grandmasters of 'Chinese Chequers' have now stepped in... to 'salvage and reinforce his reputation'.

According to Jiang Xiao, the director of a forthcoming thriller entitled
Who Killed Paul the Octopus?, the creature had really been dead for the last three months. Jiang told the Guardian she was "60 to 70% sure" Paul had died in July and been secretly replaced by his keepers.

Explaining how such a deception could have been perpetrated, she added: "[Octopuses] all look the same. It is impossible to tell the difference."

Jiang said she thought it was "kind of strange" that news of Paul's death had broken not long after the Oberhausen Sea Life Centre in western Germany had contacted her team to say they were keen to co-operate on the international distribution of her film.

"We have been keeping in touch with the German aquarium ever since the beginning [of production] but it seemed to me that they were afraid," she said. "The movie is about unveiling the inside story behind the octopus miracle, so they felt nervous."

"For the movie, we had done quite a lot of investigation and I am 60% to 70% sure that Paul died on 9 July [two days before the World Cup final] and the Germans have been covering up his death and fooling us for a long time."

Jiang declined to explain why she believed Paul had died in July - or to say more about the revelations in the movie. Her allegations of submarine jiggery-pokery met with polite bafflement in Germany today.

"It's certainly not true that Paul died in the summer," said a spokeswoman for the aquarium.

"We can absolutely assure you that he died last night. He was about two and a half, which is the average age for an octopus. He died a simple and straightforward death."

Paul is due to be cremated in the next few days. His ashes will be placed in an urn and displayed in a shrine, along with a portrait and video clips from his life, the spokeswoman added.

"We've already set up a condolence book where people can write their tributes to Paul," she said.

Paul will live on meanwhile as the object of a host of commercial enterprises ranging from special clothing lines to mobile phone applications inspired by his fame.

A lasting legacy of the astonishing global phenomena that was Paul the Octopus is also taking shape on the Greek island of Zakynthos, a permanent sea turtle rescue centre funded in part by donations generated in Paul's name.

But what of the rumours that Paul had pulled off one last magnificent psychic coup by predicting his own death?

"If he did, he kept it to himself," the spokeswoman for the aquarium said.

So long, Paul. You will be sorely missed... by the Spaniards, press, media and the bookies. Crumbling cookies...

P.S. Incidentally one of Russia's most popular newspapers - Komsomolskaya Pravda - said (in July 2010) it had managed to get Paul to forecast who will be Russia's next president. But the newspaper said it was sealing Paul's forecast until 2012. Hmmm. Seems like Iron Curtain II. We demand 'Perestroika' and 'Glasnost' in equal measure! Taking a leaf out of the football World Cup play book, The Sydney Morning Herald unveiled "Cassandra" - its very own "psychic" octopus in July '10. It claimed she had predicted Prime Minister Julia Gillard's poll victory (in Aug 2010). But then Cassandra is obviously no 'cricket sage'! What say VVS... ?!!


Paul the octopus (alt. 'Paul Oktopus', 'Pulpo Paul', 'Paul der Kracke') swimming through his aquarium in Oberhausen, western Germany, during the World Cup. (Pic courtesy: AFP/Getty Images)

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Just-Tease... !!!

Author's note: Do read "An Ode to... One year of UPA-II...!!!";
Demo-crazy... !!!";
One year ago/ UP, UP and (UP)AWAY... UPA Aala Re... !!!" and "One year ago/ Poll-i-nation... !!!"

First of all... let me wish you all a Shubho Biyoja! Also... best wishes on the occasion of Kojagori Lokkhi Puja.

Its been about a week after the Commonwealth Games (CWG)... but the hangover persists... for many. The CWG was truly spectacular and memorable. Especially for the Dilliwallahs. Simply for their 'life-altering' experiences. The 'garrulous' Dilliwallahs were required to become 'Zen Masters'... practically overnight. Courtesy the new traffic rules. And Dilli is 'famous' for the choicest words, phrases and epithets that folks hurl at each other... while (un)comfortably seated on their 2/3/4/6 wheelers or even while traveling via number 11. But due to the advent of CWG... the traffic situation was totally fun. Half the roads were closed down for the 'delegate movement'. So, the Dilliwallahs had only half the roads for 'free movement'. If you want to know what all that led to... read "Dilli Chalo!" by Preeti of "The Other Side of Life" fame. It is a must read.

Now to get back to my post. This was drafted before the CWG but thanks to the shenanigans of the net connection... it had not seen the light of day. Till now...

The state of the nation. 'Pollination'. A flood of tears... plus the bears. Makes for Uncommon wealth. A blow it has dealth... to our prestige and health. Lifebuoy soap... provides no hope. The virus is virulent... nothing can cause a dent. Work so shoddy... swalpa adjust (kal)madi. Common 'Wealth'... is just a game. Hee hee... no shame. There's a silver lining... so stop whining. Of medals... India will have a windfall. And stand tall. You see... others will pull out. Such louts! No 'atithi devo bhavo'... Bravo! Bravo! Security and quality. Two hoot. What to do? PC needs to reboot.

Dabangg rules while SRK cools. Perfection drools. Big Bee... Que Sera Sera. Whatever Will Be, Will Be. After Raavan... little Bee is flooded... with tweets. So sweet! Very hot... bring on the 'Robot'. Move over aviators and avatars... its time for (the darshan of) Lord Rajanikanth. Shant! Shant! Hurricane Kat is out of action. Diction, diction. 'Hum' once again. What a pain. Zandu balm... and all is calm. Including Sallu... letting off steam and ash. Bash! Don't worry. No Thank you... no Sorry. Horn OK please. Attention... Stand at ease. Drive Saifly. Deftly.

Prices and inflation. Catch me if you can. Usain Bolt... where are you? Et tu?

Big deal. Six appeal! Bajji pao. Zen and Tao. Vastu and Tai Chi. Easy, easy. Deception. Much needed 'Inception'. DiCaprio... jaldi aao. Lo mein aa gaya(ram). Aayaram. Paisa. Planning ho toh aisa! Prime mini-stars. Cheap mini-stars. Bihar polls. For whom the bell tolls. Kar-'nataka'. Jataka tales. The great Indian circus. Hocus pocus. The show must go on. Blog-a-ton. Coffee with Tolstoy. Oh Boy! Our daily bread. Dread. Couture and Haute. Fad for thought.

Population. Pollution. Inflation. Corruption. Red Tape. Khap. Prices. Naxals. Kashmir. Fancy dress. Body double. Double trouble. Under the rubble. Delays. Relays. Hunger. Poverty. Action. Inaction. Illiteracy. Infrastructure fallacy. Photostat. Aerostat. Just words, I say! The netas will once again wish us all a very Happy Independence day. Truly free. Duty free.

What say? Aap kataar mein hai... Hail the new bookie. Rookie. The new Oracle. Lock, stock and barrel. Paul the Octopus! Hush! Hush!

Rising son. Waiting for your decision O Great One!!

Migratory birds. Seasonal flowers. Hussey to phasee. Take it easy policy. Sholay. Action Replay. Common'wealth' games it is. 'Achieved' after massacring innumerable trees. Roadies. Toadies. Baggage. Garbage. Rubble and stink. Water water everywhere, not a drop to drink.

Culture. Vulture. Lal batti. Dimaag ki batti jala de. Shobha De. No rice, no wheat. Tweet. While the sun shines, make hay! Others bray. Khel khel mein! H1N1. No tension. Bird flu. Dengue. Malaria. Chikungunia. Earlier Sania. Now Saina. Gravy train. Brain drain. Shahi chikan curry. Hurry Burry. For big O Barry. Dogs on the beds. No rolling heads. Animal rights you see. Instant fantasy. Paan stains. Overflowing drains. Kahaani road road ki! Chunkey Monkey. Tenders and License. Awkward silence. For friends and ally... Jam and jelly. Rest? Empty belly. Mosquitoes. Quit India. You have no place here. Matter finished. Hot Bods. Modern Gods. 5 year plan. Best fiction. All talk and no action. Rain, Rain... don't go to Spain.

Beefed up security. Muttoned up security. Chickened out. Pout. Court. On dot. Therez more than 'meats' the eye. Don't be shy. Hit wicket. Thats not cricket! IPL... twist in the tale. Brett Lee. Garam garam sambar mein doob idly!

Kabab mein haddi? Full support... for our national sport. Kabaddi.

(Un)common sense! Sitting on the fence. Nation's image. Taxing job. Consensus. Autonomy minus us. Important issues? TRP rules. Public opinion. Publicised opinion. Eye for an eye. Leg bye. Dive. Chicken 65.

Shera. Jal Jeera. The real mascot. Bowled but not caught! 101 medals... not cool. Poly-tricks rule.

Bangalored. Buffaloed. Knowledge process outsourcing... KPO silly. Dilly dally. Job security. Popular ditty. Barry is afraid of getting am-Bushed. Afraid of his job getting outsourced by Republicans. Ten on Ten. No pain, no gain. Family matters. Tatters. Indo-Pak. Separated at birth. China. Hyena. Just-Tease. High fees. Woh Kisna hai re baba. Sabse bada rupaiyaa! Bhaiyaa. Lo mein aa gaya! Jor ka jhatka... dheere se lage. Dekho... kya hota hai aage aage.

Ratan ka Tata. Birla Birla. Modi-fied with Aam(money). Add a dash of Vedanta. Plus UPA-nishad. Not bad at all. Just-Tease. Pure bliss. Borderline Nirvana. Zulu fever. Vuvuzela.

Note: The views expressed here are entirely in good humour and without malice.


Hilarious takes on the state of the nation - in India.

Friday, October 1, 2010

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans...

I read this on Shwetal's blog... This one truly deserves a read... Hope this lifestyle/attitude culture moves forward - even if slowly. Don't know who the author is, but as long as the message gets conveyed, it doesn't matter...

It's been 18 years since I joined Volvo, a Swedish company. Working for them has proven to be an interesting experience. Any project here takes 2 years to be finalized, even if the idea is simple and brilliant. It's a rule.

Globalized processes have caused in us (all over the world) a general sense of searching for immediate results. Therefore, we have come to possess a need to see immediate results. This contrasts greatly with the slow movements of the Swedish. They, on the other hand, debate, debate, debate, hold x quantity of meetings and work with a slowdown scheme. At the end, this always yields better results.

1. Sweden has 2 million inhabitants.
2. Stockholm has 500,000 people.
3. Volvo, Escania, Ericsson, Electrolux, are some of its renowned companies. Volvo even supplies NASA.

The first time I was in Sweden, one of my colleagues picked me up at the hotel every morning. It was September, bit cold and snowy. We would arrive early at the company and he would park far away from the entrance (2000 employees drive their car to work).

The first day, I didn't say anything, neither the second or third days. One morning I asked him, "Do you have a fixed parking space? I've noticed we park far from the entrance even when there are no other cars in the lot."

To which he replied, "Since we're here early we'll have time to walk, don't you think that whoever gets in late will need a place closer to the door?" Imagine my face.

Now-a-days, there's a movement in the world named 'Slow Food'. This movement establishes that people should eat and drink slowly, with enough time to taste their food, spend time with the family, friends, without rushing. 'Slow Food' is against its counterpart, 'Fast Food' and what it stands for as a lifestyle. 'Slow Food' is the basis for a bigger movement called 'Slow Down'.

Basically, the movement questions the sense of "hurry" and "craziness" generated by globalization, fuelled by the desire of "having in quantity" (life status) versus "having with quality", "life quality" or the "quality of being".

French people, even though they work 35 hours per week, are more productive than Americans or British. Germans have established 28.8 hour workweeks and have seen their productivity driven up by 20%.

This slow attitude has come to the notice of USA , the pupils of the fast and "do it now" brigade.

This no-rush attitude doesn't represent doing less or having a lower productivity. It means working and doing things with greater quality, productivity, perfection, with attention to detail and less stress. It means re-establishing family values, friends, free and leisure time. Taking the "now", present and concrete, versus the "global", undefined and anonymous. It means taking humans' essential values, the simplicity of living. It stands for a less coercive work environment, more happy, lighter and more productive work place where humans enjoy doing what they know best how to do.

It's time to stop and think on how companies need to develop serious quality with no-rush that will increase productivity and the quality of products and services, without losing the essence.

In the movie, 'Scent of a Woman', there's a scene where Al Pacino asks a girl to dance and she replies, "I can't, my boyfriend will be here any minute now."
To which Al Pacino responds, "A life is lived in an instant."
Then they dance the tango!

Many of us live our lives running behind time, but we only reach it when we die of a heart attack or in a car accident rushing to be on time. Others are so anxious to live for the future that they forget to live the present, which is the only time that truly exists.

We all have equal time throughout the world. No one has more or less. The difference lies in how each one of us does with our time. We need to live each moment. As John Lennon said, "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans."

Author's note: You must also read: "Take nothing but memories, leave nothing but footprints!"


Nice one... don't you think?!!